DAMN IT I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO SCREW UP THAT DAMNED SCIENCE TEST TOMORROW.

**** I'M SUCH A DAMNED IDIOT.

[edit]

you want me to have a choice for my subject combinations?

MAKE ME LAUGH.

what choice do i have?

i'm going to screw up my Science test.

oh my gosh.

times like this, i wish i could cry.

...

yeah. just disappointed.

just really disappointed.

...

i better stop here.

...

i accidentally right-clicked in the class blog. what came out really took my breath away.

wishing.

...

it was only last night that i realised just how unworthy i am.

but i won't cry.

i know i posted the song before... but i really don't know what else to post today.

Rebecca St. James - Forgive Me

For all the times I’ve failed You, Lord
Forgive me
For all the ways I’ve fallen short
Lord, forgive me now

God, I’m so in need of grace
I fall upon my face
Forgive me

You see the tears fall down my face
Forgive me
Take my fear, Lord, take my shame
Lord, forgive me now

Purify me, make me new
Like only You can do
Forgive me now

Lord, we come to honor You
We are forgiven
We bring our love and thanks to You
We are forgiven now

God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven

God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven
Forgiven

later, toony

maybe.

just maybe.

...

cheer up.

it's better for your health.

both of you.

whether or not you read this...

later, toony

where can you run to escape from yourself?

argh.

sian she just scares me so much i don't dare to talk to her.

and yet she's so nice that i have to talk to her.

oh my gosh this is so stressful.

...

sent.

...

i wonder if it's my fault.

but forget it.

...

band was tiring today.

and i was getting overheated in my shirt.

and too much heat makes me super tired and cranky.

...

random stuff.

I LOVE YOU CELESTINE :D

...

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here


I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

later, toony

so sleepy.

and i can't even rest over the weekends.

awesome.

many thanks, school.

...

feel like posting some randomly sad song.

Lea Salonga and Michael Ball (Eponine and Marius) - A Little Fall Of Rain

EPONINE
Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
You're here, that's all I need to know

And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
And rain will make the flowers grow

MARIUS
But you will live, 'Ponine - dear God above,
If I could heal your wounds with words of love

EPONINE
Just hold me now, and let it be
Shelter me, comfort me

MARIUS
You would live a hundred years
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now...

EPONINE
The rain can't hurt me now
This rain will wash away what's past
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I'll sleep in your embrace at last

The rain that brings you here
Is Heaven-blessed!
The skies begin to clear
And I'm at rest
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far

So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now
That's all I need to know

And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close

MARIUS(in counterpoint)
Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine,
You won't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt you now
I'm here
I will stay with you
Till you are sleeping

EPONINE
And rain...

MARIUSAnd rain...

EPONINE
Will make the flowers...

MARIUS
Will make the flowers... grow...

that last part where Eponine didn't sing the word grow, and Marius sang it alone, that's when Eponine died.

Les Miserables IS SUCH A SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD STORY!

later, toony

today.

wasn't a good day.

...

Sophie and Sophia.

i love them to BITSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :D

let's make miracles together kay dears?

Sophie, you sounded so much better when i used 3 1/2, so if it's 3 1/2 you want, it's 3 1/2 you'll get :D

don't worry Sophia, we'll play together again soon! i won't forget you my dear! :D

...

kay you may think i'm nuts...

but i LOVE my B flat and the alto clarinet.

:D

LOVELY SONG!

Dare To Run


later, toony

LWV!

no point fighting.

so... sleepy...............

oh my gosh i've slacked so much and now there's so much work to do.

O_O

...

and He rose again.

...

dare to run, with your eyes fixed on Jesus...

nice song...

later, toony

fine.

go ahead and just crush me completely.

i can't do anything about it anyway.

maybe i should have known from the start it wouldn't have worked out no matter what.

nothing i really want to do ever works out.

or at least, it goes on without me.

...

how i wish there MSN had status emo-ing.

music's more than something to colour the world.

so much more.

...

thank God i have it :)

...

GREEN HILLS IS REALLY A FANTASTIC PIECE.

and it's been a while since i just listened to band pieces and felt such peace.

love it :)

...

if anyone has In All Its Glory, do send it to me.

thanks! :D

the first piece on my playlist today is Centuria, an awesome piece.

enjoy!

later, toony

and on the cross, He died.

just so that i may stand, forgiven.

even though i so obviously do not deserve it.

praise Him(:

In Christ Alone



later, toony

2SY FTW!!!!!!!!!!!

for once in my life i see hope for class championship.

LET'S DO THIS SY.

great job Samy, Yu Han, Joanna, Priscilla, Jia and Debbie for heats today!

Y'ALL WERE SO AWESOME TODAY!!!

...

i'm proud of myself too.

i was SO TEMPTED to by donuts and puffs and whatnots but i didn't.

:D

...

kay that SO pales in comparison to what the runners did -.-

i'll train hard and do well for 2SY for swim relay!

...

i miss Sophie :(

and i miss Sophia too :(

...

OOOH YES

I GOT MY WALLET BACK!!!

THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

...

Good Friday tomorrow.

thank God for it.

thank God.

...

anyways, a song for Good Friday.

i don't like the video, but what to do...

Avalon - The Glory

i'm VERY sure i screwed up my Science test.

but whatever mans.

we're making ice-cream tomorrow! :D

and sports heats tomorrow too... darn have to skip sectionals.

damn it i can't find my wallet.

OH MY GOSH!

i'm so dead...

IF ANY KIND SOUL HAS FOUND A WALLET WITH BUTTERFLIES AND SMALL CRYSTALS IN IT PLEASE BRING IT TO THE POLICE STATION OR SCGS GENERAL OFFICE.

it has my ez-link card, very little money, library card, many nice nice notes and all..

and the wallet's important to me! it was my 13th birthday present...

please people, please be kind...

:((((

later, toony

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing."

so please let us do things because we enjoy it.

even though so often i'm forced to do something i don't enjoy doing.

grr.

...

i've never been so late for school before!

i woke up late for school already mans.

and i'm still SUPER sleepy and tired.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i'm a ZHU!

Les Miserables seems like such a nice piece.

why does it seem so nice under Ms Leong?

odd.

later, toony

DONUTS ARE SO GOOD!

why are the good stuff always unhealthy :(

zzz

...

nothing is ever what it seems.

i can only hope and pray that it's for the best.

that it wasn't a mistake.

stay strong, friend.

...

this week's drawing to a close.

hardly feels like a break.

but i still don't want to go back to school :(

haizzzzzzz

a short break, but a break nonetheless.

and so begins ten more weeks of yearning for term to end.

and then...

AUSTRIA TRIP!

oh my gosh can't wait :D

felt a sudden urge to post this song.

苏打绿 - 小情歌

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚

就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

later, toony

i changed my desktop wallpaper.

for the first time in two years, it's something apart from them.

and i realised i love the people featured in my wallpaper so much more than before.

yeah. i'm moving on.

feeling kinda guilty. feeling kinda happy. feeling kinda relieved.

i guess it's final.

yeah i guess it's final.

i'm gone.

finally free from my own prison cell.

finally :)

...

a proud member of the ZHU club :D

everyone be a ZHU provider please! :D

later, toony

band camp.

it didn't have a nice name like FUNdamentals had.

but nevertheless, just as good, maybe even better.

all that passion i've lost touch with for so long just came rushing back when i got home.

it's an exhausting feeling.

it's conflicting with my mind.

it hurts.

but now i know that no matter what, i'm never letting it go again.

never.

...

anyways, camp.

i'm proud of myself! my bag's growing smaller!

i hereby pledge to make my bag even smaller next camp :D

anyways, my group makes me feel old.

seven sec ones were far more managable than i thought.

and we did quite well! ^^



the sand castle that's slightly more than half Rachel's height (thanks to the stick :D)



an almost there group picture LOL.



this picture's just pretty lah.



me and Victoria, my AGL! i actually didn't look bad here! :D



me posing with the Carlsberg Sky Tower sign. totally fail lah, not even looking at the camera -.-

i think the people there must have thought we were super interesting. a whole group of strangers just came up and wanted to take a picture with us.

so much spare time, went down to candy empire and bought $2.65 worth of candy.

a tad ex, i'll say. tsk.

but i got free Ben & Jerry's ice-cream from the brown group!

THANKS LOADS!

even though it was super melted and stuff.

and while waiting, we shared jelly beans (OH MY GOSH Nikky spilt them ALL) and After Eights (MANY MANY MANY THANKS NIKKY!)

next, truth or dare.

i came up with the SICKEST dare for Victoria. so proud of myself :D

anyway, there was this group of friendly people, so we just kept going up to them while doing our dares.

we went to watch our movie, and i decided to sit with the juniors!

STEP UP 2 IS SO NICE! i think Moose is super funny :D

just like my juniors! giggling at the couple in front of us arh... lol.

they just kept me laughing all the way through the movie! they're SO cute! :D

took a really REALLY nice section photo after the movie. pity it's so dark...

but we took one back in the hall!



if anyone has a nicer one in the hall please send me kay! thanks :D

had a really really strong urge to play my clarinet. tsk how could they not allow T_T

never underestimate the power of fann fans. it was freezing that night lah.

sometimes i wish i could save you.

...

seems like i've just been way too preoccupied with my own troubles to see others more in need of help.

i've got to change.

i've always had people there for me... but so many people out there don't.

i don't know if i'll be able to do much.

but i'll just be there.

cos everyone should have someone to lean on in times of need.

dear friend,

stay happy always!

smile!

i love you!


later, toony

it's not respect that keeps us in line.

it's fear.

and no, it's not right.

...

some people might be unable to distinguish between fear and respect.

so i shall define it right now.

i respected Ms Heng.

i respected Mr Yap.

i respect Ms Leong.

i respect Ms Hing.

i respect Shannon.

i respect Dee.

i respect SC Band.

i respect SC Clarinets.

i respect 2SY '08.

and i respect this school.

...

why?

they earned it.

and they didn't make me fear them for it.

later, toony

MCYS.

like seriously lah! i really REALLY don't like him kay!

i want something to change!

oh mans...

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSSA!

seeing as my ideas have been used so many times, i'll just do cliche stuff like this -.-

...

CS was a waste of time as usual today.

but the alto's warming up to me!

but it still freaks me out sometimes when i have to play alone.

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE CLARINET 1 IS A VERY NICE PART!!

but of course, i'm on the alto, so never mind, it's being nice ^^

if only the alto would just breathe. then it won't be such a stuffy instrument.

QINGYI'S CLARINET IS SO FRIENDLY!

i like :D

...

tsk why do i always like her clarinets -.-

...

my first C...

OH MY GOSH!!!

T_T

i want straight A1s this year can...

:(

GAH!!!

...

Dee... Shannon... bring me back to camp with you please...

:(

赞美之泉 - 你的爱

祢创造宇宙万物
统管一切所有
但祢却关心我的需要
了解我的感受

祢手铺陈天上云彩
打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我
忍受徹骨钉伤苦痛

祢公义审判万民
圣洁光照全地
但祢却一再赐恩典一再施怜悯
给我机会回转向祢

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

祢创造宇宙万物
统管一切所有
但祢却关心我的需要
了解我的感受

祢手铺陈天上云彩
打造永恒国度
但这双手却甘心为我
忍受徹骨钉伤苦痛

祢公义审判万民
圣洁光照全地
但祢却一再赐恩典一再施怜悯
给我机会回转向祢

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

祢的爱如此温柔
超乎我心所想
这样大有能力的主
竟捧我在手掌心上

祢的爱如此深切
我知我无以报答
但愿倒空我的生命
学习祢谦卑的样式
背起我自己的十字架

later, toony

i told myself not to cry.

told myself to just hang on.

i don't blame you for it.

it is my fault after all.

but i've said too many farewells too early, i've left so much behind, i've made too many mistakes, my heart's just too empty.

and the tears refused to stop.

...

tsk JI person makes everyone so scared now no one wants to go out with me T_T

i wanna go out and shop...

but i'm going out to have ice-cream with Priscilla on Wednesday :D

oh no OM.

haiz.

...

our class was super hyper and all today. still in the adventure camp mood.

2SY OUI!

give me one silent clap!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G SONG!

2SY! ARE. YOU. HUNGRY!

yeah mans ^^

Emily Lew and i were talking about what would happen if we bumped into Shannon/Dee at Orchard.

"Shannon... could you buy me that pair of topshop shoes? it costs $73... please?" *pitiful look*

...

SHANNON! DEE! you guys are all that 2SY can talk about now... be honoured :D

MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE!

...

yeah...

...

Simple Plan - Everytime

It was three AM
When you woke me up
And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away

We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up
And now I'm thinking about how I wish I could go back
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
It's all I need: one more day with you

When the car broke down
We just kept walking along
Til we hit this town there was nothing there at all
But that was all okay

We spent all our money
On stupid things
But if I looked back now, I'd probably give it all away
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

But ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
It's all I need: one more day with you

Now I'm sitting here
Like we used to do
I think about my life and how now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day

One more day with you

Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right (Everything feels right)

Everytime I hear your name
Everytime I feel the same
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right

You walked away
Just one more day
It's all I need, just one more day with you

later, toony

i just wanna cry.

it's unbearable.

for Shannon and Dee

even though they might never read this.

but if you do, go ahead and cry, i won't mind ;)

(please play the song before proceeding)



...

when we first got you guys, it really really was a common opinion that you guys were 'boring', 'sian' and 'not fun'.

but really, that completely changed as we were having icebreakers (odd that they call them icebreakers when you don't get to break any ice)

when you were calling out our names, i responded to LEEWEI but so many people said you left out NANCY. so i became known to you guys as Nancy.

the forfeit for our mother hen was super funny. Shannon actually poledanced for us LOL. i'll never ever EVER forget that.

small pole, medium pole or big pole. i think mother hen should have picked medium pole mans :D

and then, off we went to Changi. i was dreading it. like really dreading it. i didn't want to be cut off from civilisation, cut off from my phone and definitely not from my pandas :(

i really didn't bring in a single panda!

but you guys just kept having fun with us, laughing with/at us, encouraging us, talking to us, acting gay with us, bullying instructors with us etc.

you guys say we made you feel welcomed. i say you guys made me feel like MOE CCAC was home.

and for once our class felt like a real family, with you guys as our mum and dad (i'm still torn between deciding who's the mum and who's the dad)

here i assure you, it was with absolute sincerity when we said that we love you during our campfire performance.

debrief that night was really really saddening. even Priscilla (whom i've NEVER EVER seen cry during my whole four years of knowing her) cried. you guys made all the sunburns, the lack of personal hygiene, the sandy floors, the freezing nights worthwhile.

last day. everyone was super quiet, super shag, super stone, super sad. last day you'll be our instructors. last day we'll be able to see you (supposedly). all our lasts.

and you guys made the absolute best of it :)

you two made us laugh so so SO much when we got Shannon into a skirt (IT'S SICK AND WRONG but absolutely hilarious), you guys broke rules so we could stay in touch, you guys assured us that you'll remember us and will miss us like loads and loads.

i assure you, all those mass 2SY convos you haven't been a part of were devoted purely to discussing how we could accidentally bump into you guys during class outings and how much we missed you two and how much we wished we could go back and how to pass you our class shirt and how much we really really loved you two.

i know i didn't cry. you guys told us to leave happy, just as we went happy. so i smiled the best i could, and hoped you guys remember it.

Shannon, Dee, please please please remember me. cos i'll never ever forget you.

2SY loves you so SO much. 2SY misses you so SO much.

i give you guys a spot in that most precious corner of my heart. i'll always miss you guys. i'll always love you.

take care, instructors, take care.

later, toony