God is good! All the time!

And all the time, GOD IS GOOD!

experienced a GREAT miracle today... PRAISE THE LORD!!!

you see arh... me being in the trumpet section and all... they gave us books with all the various exercises and all...

and then last night, i stayed up until 11.30 looking for the book, cos i had band today...

then i pretty much cleared out my entire room...

and i still couldn't find it...

and i was so freaked out...

and i was hoping it was in my art bag...

which was in school...

then when i reached school...

checked my art bag...

IT WASN'T THERE.

*faints and dies*

then i checked under my table...

WASN'T THERE. (it costs $4.50 BTW)

and i freaked out...

then i prayed... prayed that God would somehow guide it into my hands... and that it isn't in the recycling bin or anything...

and then when i went for band...

went to get my trumpet...

and HALLELUJAH!

my book was there!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!

:)

for all the JC people from church who just got back their results...

it doesn't seem very positive...

but don't despair!

it'll be better next time!

JIAYOU!

i'm behind you all the way!

and most importantly, GOD IS BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY!!!

yep.

so JIAYOU!!!

and i might treat you to chocolate.

:)

later, toony

no more depressing posts.

i shall be like Sarah.

and i shall stay positive.

yep.

*nods*

no more sadistic thoughts either.

but i seriously didn't feel any pain.

NO.

MORE.

SADISTIC.

THOUGHTS.

...

no more.

jiayou.

...

jiayou.

thank you conscience.

people around me are cheering up.

i will cheer up too.

jiayou.

quper guilty conscience...

can't keep breaking rules like that anymore...

argh...

i'm sorry...

please don't read that people...

i. will. cheer. up. too.

so why do i still hate myself so much?

argh...

i. hate. myself.

blatantly. hate. myself.

why can't i speak my mind when i want to?

why is it that words i don't want anyone to hear come out all the time?

argh...

i. hate. myself.

...

1 Thesselonians 5:16

rejoice always.

i lost my watch!!! hope it's still at teacher Evelyn's place... shit... it's damn ex lah... if i lose it... i'm like... dead... no...

took LRT from the wrong platform... should have gone on the other side... saves time...

and i took the MRT from CHOA CHU KANG. CHOA CHU KANG to NEWTON.

can't believe it lah. Clement's car drove right past me and i got there earlier than him.

was panting and sweating like mad when i got to the room lor...

my ranting time...

wish i hadn't told them...

should have been my secret...

i'm so darn stupid kay...

seriously didn't want to go home...

wish today would start all over again...

then i could get the visit again...

feel warm and loved again...

go to church again...

worship the Lord again...

argh... desperately wish i could turn back time...

he's avoiding me now...

i know it doesn't really show...

but i know he's avoiding me...

ah well... maybe it's better that way...

so emo right now... emo...

can't stand the prospect of having to go to school for another week...

it's so difficult to survive it now...

just dreading school...

damn it...

i need to be free...

really want to just go out and play...

be free for just a few hours...

without having to think about mum...

or dad...

or my sis...

that would be great...

where the only person to answer to is God...

that would be great...

that would be perfect...

just a few hours...

i need to fly again...

it's suffocating alright...

i can't even blog in peace...

so trapped... i can't take it anymore...

i need to be free... there are too many boundaries,,, way too many...

argh... i really, really, really can't take it anymore...

think i'll just go back to working with the penknife...

seriously emo until i can die...

argh... help...

life seriously, seriously, sucks.

later, toony

~wheee...

slept at 2.30 today...

woke up at 11...

so fun kay...

i'm still tired...

it was really enjoyable...

thank you very much...

i love you....

thanks big brother...

~wheee...

Dione my dear...

hopefully you'll read this...

you're the cutest... and you're the best...

you say things as it is and you have a wonderful way of making big things seem small...

you never fail to cheer me up...

and i love you kay...

you're the best...

cheer up cheer up cheer up cheer up.

jiayou!

1st thesselonians 5:16 rejoice always

remember that kay...

love you...

i'm hoping that makes someone happier...

~wheee...

going to chiong my piano worl liao...

see you!

later, toony

changed out of my depressing blogskin...

love my new one...

finally handed in History...

should be practising piano now... oops...

still can't play the trumpet properly... think i'll be transferred... nooo...

i want to go out and play...

mum and dad aren't in Singapore...

seriously want to play...

haiz...

ah well...

only one worksheet for the weekends!!!

and a lot of memorising to do...

eeks...

does anyone have 听不到 by 五月天 on their phone? if yes, bluetooth it to me when you see me again kay...

thank you...

love my new blogskin...

later, toony

failed history.

rushing history project.

hoping history teacher will accept overdue history project.

hoping history teacher won't give me a zero for history project.

desperately hoping to hand in history project and forget about it.

think i'll have a bad history with history this year.

...

how to take history at JC level like that?

haiz... so super stressed out kay... like... my homework pile is seriously mounting... haven't touched my piano for so long... and the stuff i need to do for band isn't completed... and like... i've been failing a lot lately... think i can't get top 5% this year... sure get scolded one...

like my history common test... and the english thing we did in school... shit...

haiz...

later, toony

pastor Jonathan... hmm... can't tell if i liked his sermon or not... hmm... cos i only liked the last part...

he asked for people to come out to be touched by him... i went up... hoping i would be able to feel Him once more... i was so nervous... my legs didn't want to take my weight... seriously wanted to just fall onto my knees before the altar... kinda regret not doing it though...

i remember... he placed both hands on my head... he was trembling... and i think i was trembling too... he prayed for God to give me a sinker... for there are really too many distractions in my life... he knew... he knew just by doing that... God must have really been working through him or something... and i just knew... knew i had finally found a reason for living... a reason to study... to work... to take exams... it's all for Him... that's all.

yep.

got back my History today... sucked lah... i failed... i failed... how am i gonna tell my parents? it's like... there's no way i can be in the top 5% of the level now... no way... haiz...

really hope he can tutor me in History... really hope he can...

haiz...

if it would ease my suffering, i would say i love you too...

as it happens, there's no way i can ever say that to you...

you're just a big brother... a good friend to me...

i advise you to forget about it...

haiz...

later, toony

i've always wanted to be happy...

but i've finally understood...

i just have to be content.

...

don't think you really liked it... won't make you talk like that anymore...

don't think i'll ever understand...

but we'll be good friends... right?

...

home econs.

my latest nightmare.

...

i was so tempted to type this in.

i love you.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what.

thank you so much...

i love you...

all of you...

i love you...

saltshaker! =)

think i somewhat abandoned Amanda Lim and Jaclyn Fong... paiseh... paiseh...

Yilin's right though... our church will soon be dominated by SC people... thanks to Jacqueline and i! =)

while i was getting ready to go to church... got a call from 'the most handsome one'... said he and Weizong were at school waiting for Amanda and i... so funny kay... then in the end they didn't get to play with us... haha...

picked up Amanda... and we went off...

my stuff was all over the place lah... so flustered... and so disorientated can... haha... so weird kay... my letter really was exploding... haha...

the balloons were blocking us at first... then when it all came down... it was the banner that was blocking us... haha... so funny kay... everyone bending down to look at the words... haha...

significance cannot be found in pedigrees, in our proffession, in our grades. that is not where significance can be found.

a perfect example. "my name is not important, but my Father is King."

significance is found in our relationship with God.

which means i'm still insignificant.

God is before everything. i must not put Him second. i must not.

Amen.

i know it's not right... still feel that i'm drfiting... can't consider him my friend the way i used to... i should give up...

he's my friend... i can't give up... i just can't...

but it's so difficult... i don't want him to go through that phase... if he does... could he please not make it so obvious... i mean... while i was going through it... my mask never came off... i was not to let others know i'm emo...

he's a guy... he's my friend...

i envy him... so much... he's such a bloody idiot...

it hurts... even though the feeling's gone... still... it hurts...

i'll just love him as a friend... i shall never hope the way i once did... it's gone... it's over...

i love you big brother.

i'm freaked out.

can you please stop calling me?

i don't know you.

you don't know me.

and i'm happy leaving it like that.

so leave me, ALONE.