Saturday, April 28, 2007

yesssss

Madrigalum is so nice!

i wanna put it up here!

but i don't know how to.

-.-

eh... bear with this, alright?


Panda loves !
10:29 AM

Friday, April 27, 2007


forgot to add...

WTFreak.

fine.

so Chinese Dance got Gold and y'all were crying and stuff.

so Choir got Gold.

so International Dance got Gold with Honours.

so Handbells got Gold with Honours.

so Drama got Gold with Honours.

and Band got silver.

i don't need anyone to tell me that SC Band sucks.

i don't need anyone to tell me that Band sucks.

i know you were only joking.

it still penetrates.

it's not that my seniors weren't good.

it's that the standard is high.

it's not that they didn't do their best.

they did. i know they did.

and my seniors rock like mad.

i can't stand it lah.

you're not even in performing arts.

don't make crap judgements like this.

overheard SC seniors comparing performing arts results.

"International Dance got Gold with Honours."

"Choir got Gold."

like.

SO WHAT.

we'll get Gold with Honours in 2009.

I PROMISE YOU THAT.

...

don't worry seniors.

y'all rock my world.

and anyways, y'all got GOLD last time.

shows that the standard went UP.

and anyways, GREAT JOB.

so many bands got bronze man.

GREAT JOB.

...

we won't fail you.

promise.

...

i hope.

Panda loves !
7:25 PM


pumps...

had to pump for the first time ever in band today.

then after that, had to do drills.

wow.

arms were aching like mad when we were dismissed.

and we spent a whole hour on drills.

xian.

then piano lesson was cancelled.

really lucky, cos i haven't been practising.

...

stop here.

i mean it.

This life is my stage.

And I’ve acted for far too long.

I’ve lied to myself too many times.

I can’t stop acting.

I can’t stop lying.

I want to get off this stage.

It hurts me with every move I make.

That’s it. It hurts.




Dear Lord, please give me the strength to complete this act.

Amen.



You’ll be fine.


later, toony

Panda loves !
7:15 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007

wow. :)

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
hmmm pandas...

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
eats, shoots, and leaves

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
...

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
and are exceptionally cute

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
Eats, shoots, and leaves. Dangerous animal.

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
...

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
it's not!!!

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
you don't provoke it it's not dangerous!!!

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
dictionary say panda eats shoots and leaves

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
...

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
panda eats, shoots, and leaves

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
yeah.

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
and sleeps

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
and rolls

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
and in the case of pandada

she has a weakness for pandas. someone help me stop her. says:
jumps

! dxdp ≥ ħ/2 ! I WANT MY CBOX BACK!!!! D-Day minus 4 says:
eat already instead of paying up, will shoot and leave



LOL!!!

from the above, one can conclude that my reaction is slow.

LOL!!!

anyways... had to do the five stations today...

wow. :)

sit-ups, i did 33, A, okay, cool :)

inclined pull-ups, i did 16, A again, still happy ^^

shuttle run, WOW. 12.23s, first time i got a C and not an E, very happy!!! :D

sit and reach, 38. was aiming for forty, but still okay lahs, a B, :)

standing broad jump.

OH MY GOSH!!!

last year got 128.5 after multiple attempts.

this year, 151 on the first attempt.

WHOO!

then... second attempt.

jump, land, "1... 61."

...

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUMPED MY HEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I GOT A B!!!! THE BEST IN MY LIFE!!!

and to celebrate, went home and had pizza for lunch. :)

2.4 left... hopefully i won't do too bad... if i get a C i might get a gold FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!

yay. :)

"your character and your personality could be your hindrance to success. you are your own worst enemy."
-Mrs Quek, my History teacher.

Panda loves !
3:22 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

...

the higher you are, the harder you fall.

how can my heart be fragile when it is already broken?

...

how many times must i fall before i realise i should just give up?

...

my gosh.

the chim-ness of my thoughts is worrying.

Panda loves !
7:23 PM


freak.

feeling exceptionally vulgar.

SURPRESS.

...

Sunday. had chilli crab for dinner to celebrate mum's birthday.

Monday. ran 2km during recess as part of the Health in Motion experiment. as a result, skipped recess.

then arh. during what was supposed to be our lunch break, i was busy changing for the dress up competition.

embarrassing man. i could hear Wen Hui laughing from the back of the auditorium.

and i saw the band major sitting in the FIRST row.

...

like, WTH!!!

then had to chiong through changing. cos i had to rush to the lobby to catch the bus which would take us to the ACM.

thank goodness i had asked Wen Hui to help my buy a sandwich and MILO.

and i saw Jacqueline's mum!!! :)

i see what they mean by boys our age being immature.

they don't even know that 3 p.m. is the afternoon.

:)

then after that, went home lahs.

totally dead by then.

still had this gigantic dinner cos it was the actual day of my mum's birthday yesterday.

then went out to buy cake.

ended up going home with 4 mini tiramisus and 8 different kinds of cake.

...

hey look...

it's not as if i don't want to go...

it's not everyday this sort of thing comes by...

and heck lah...

i was really looking forward to it lah...

what the freak...

i don't quite appreciate the finger waving thing.

there's nothing wrong with missing them.

get out of my face you freak.

i will not allow anger to take control of me.

but it's starting to boil.

later, toony

Panda loves !
4:36 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

...

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Saturdays are difficult to live through...

at 4 plus i'd be thinking, if i shower now and everything, i might be able to get to Saltshakers...

at 5 plus i'd be thinking, if i wash my hair and change, i'd still make it for Saltshakers...

at 6 plus i'd be thinking, if i change and chiong, i might make it for the sermon...

at 7 plus i'd be thinking, if i change now, i might be able to go for cell group...

at 8 plus i'd be thinking, if i get dad to send me to church, i really might make it for cell group...

at 9 plus i'd be thinking, gah... missed another session of Saltshakers...

at 10 plus i'd be thinking, gosh... i miss them like mad...

at 11 plus i'd be thinking, how am i gonna grow in God like this?

at 12 plus i'd be thinking, darn. am i really going to cry?

GAH!!!

i really miss them like mad!!!

especially next week...

when i think of how much fun they'd be having with *ahem*'s *ahem*

GAH!!! I WANNA GO FOR IT TOO!!!

WHY CAN'T I GO BACK???!!!

I REALLY WANNA GO FOR IT!!!

...

i shall proceed with life under the assumption that my sister hates me.

later, toony

Panda loves !
10:35 AM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

haha...

while blog-hopping, i found this joke.

it's really good.

enjoy :)

The Challenge
The atheist professor of philosophy asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things- do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms."Yes."
"Who created them?!"
[No answer.]
"God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
The lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom like an aging panther.
"Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student says in a small voice, "Yes, professor, I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you seen Him?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus, felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
"I'm afraid I have not."
"So according to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?" The young man looks defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand to speak. "Sir, is there such a thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes.
The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Similarly, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?"
The Christian pauses.
"Isn't evil the absence of good? God did not create evil."
The professor's face has turned an alarming colour. "As a realist, I absolutely do not recognise the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
"Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"
The class breaks out in laughter.
The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?
[pause]
No one appears to have done so."
The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain what-soever. According to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I declare that the professor has no brain."

Panda loves !
5:59 PM


contentment.

content.

...

it's funny... last week i had so much more...

i had met my fellow Saltshakers...

i had my phone...

i had much more freedom...

but somehow...

i'm so much more at peace now than ever...

and so much happier than last week...

...

content-ment.

and it feels good.

...

Romans 8: 38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor death, nor anything else in all creation will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galations 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Panda loves !
3:24 PM

Monday, April 16, 2007

emo-ness...

gah.

i knew it lah...

i knew i would end up crying today...

...

very easily touched lately...

just getting it was a lot already...

and the card from Jaclyn was more than enough...

but the present...

was really touched to no end...

just started crying there...

and the prospect of never seeing them again...

...

i hate this emo-ness... hate it...

Zhan Hong still owes me a Winnie the Pooh theme and Girlfriend...

Clement still owes us chocolate...

and there's something i need to settle...

and i want to see Rixin again...

and Opheleia too...

and i have to finish the three-year series...

there's so much left undone...

i wanna go back...

don't want to cancel out "i'm a saltshaker :)" on my profile...

don't want to cancel out "love..."

...

that's why one should never get too attached... makes it hard to let go...


Band had buffet lunch today...
very much like the food at Priscilla's party...
i wanted the chocolate eclairs!!!
but i only took the drink in the end...
and the clarinet seniors are so weird man...
i LOVE my new Tigger.
thanks dear...
later, toony

Panda loves !
5:23 PM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

...

i've just realised i've written more than a hundred posts.

...

wow... :)

hmm...

really miss Saltshakers...

and i really miss LOVE...

and i miss Hakka...

...

i miss my phone!!!

i want to read Amanda's messages!!!

hmph.

...

thanks Yilin...

yep. thanks for hoping with me.

hopefully i can go back after a few weeks...

till then...

you'll have to tell me about the sermons and cell group activities and stuff.

thank you! :)

...

i really hope i won't cry too much tomorrow...

especially when i receive all that love...

Panda loves !
6:42 PM


NO!!!

OH MY GOSH!!!

NO!!!

I WANT TO GO FOR SALTSHAKERS AGAIN!!!

NO!!!

I HAVE TO GO FOR THIS YEAR'S CHURCH CAMP!!!

...

don't make me leave them...

Panda loves !
3:12 PM


Paradise Live - Amazing

i'll put the song up here once i can get someone who knows how to do this...

You are amazing, forever saving
Captured by the power of Your love
Jesus I worship You

I am speechless before You
I am nothing without You
I adore You my Lord, my God
My saving grace

Jesus, all I live to do
Is to love You, my God
I stand amazed
Captured by Your grace
Let me sing Your praise and stand in awe of You

I stand in awe of You

i miss worshipping the Lord... i really miss it...

...

~hoping for a miracle~

Panda loves !
10:51 AM


... i miss them...

i miss them... i really miss them...

i miss LOVE... and i miss Saltshakers...

...

hope i can see them again...

...

i hate this emo-ness...

dear Lord... i just pray that i'll be able to worship You with them again...

in fact... i just pray i'll be able to worship You again...

...

i seriously wish i would stop being on the verge of tears.

later, toony

Panda loves !
10:12 AM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

i want it too.

let me make myself clear.

i deserve that pain.

i deserve every inch of it.

and my mum just made it clear.

i deserve to be isolated.

i deserve to be beaten up.

i deserve suffering.

...

thanks.

and i'm sorry.

...

forgive me, Father.

i don't want to lie anymore either.

...

think i've finally figured it out.

i love you too.

but please learn to hate me.

cos i know i deserve that.

and i'm not too hard on myself.

later, toony

Panda loves !
11:17 AM

Friday, April 13, 2007

...

damn pissed.

like, i would be in the packing group thing lah.

it's just cos i attached the wrong file.

so i'm not on the list.

...

pissed. just damn pissed.

...

went to J8 with Celestine yesterday...

spent $25 buying who knows what.

i still don't know how i managed to spend so much kay...

think i lost money...

went for Sports day today...

and Eugenia was there!

she looks much nicer now... her hair's highlighted... so cool...

Band got fourth for the CCA relay race!!!

but Sylvia was fast man...

and i finally got what i wanted to get... yay... :)

damn tired now... and pissed... and i have piano lessons later...

oh, and Debbie was the individual champion of Secondary One.

yay! :) GO DEBBIE!!!

went to Heeren with Eugenia, Janie, Liyan, Julia and Jaclyn...

took Neoprints! :)

and i used up all my money on lunch... so couldn't buy anything else after that...

but lunch was really good...

~exhaustion

...

i have a sudden desire to feel pain...

gosh... i'm really sadistic... unbalanced...

...

saviour, He can move the mountains,

my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.

forever, author of salvation,

He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave...

Panda loves !
5:36 PM

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

i'll be fine...

firstly... i'd like to thank...

Janie

Amanda

Yilin

(in order of height lol... joking joking...)

for encouraging me to stop thinking emo...

and for being so funny...

thanks guys...

y'all rock...

love...

...

yeah... i'll be fine lah... deleting the previous post later...

still... i don't appreciate the reminders...

and... hope you grow warm soon... it's not like you... seriously not like you...

...

thanks man...

for constantly being there to listen...

can't say how much i appreciate it...

...

can't hide anything before the Lord...

can't stop crying before Him...

thanks Lord...

rock on...

...

we lost in squash...

the last player was so upset...

congrats MGS!

we were shouting the school song... haha... went a bit out... haha...

...

weirdly fascinated with the blood that flowed out of the wound...

...

sadistic.

later, toony

Panda loves !
5:50 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2007

stop it.

stop it.

you're not protecting me, you know.

you're hurting the people who actually care about me.

and you have no right.

...

stay away from me, everyone.

i'm only gonna end up hurting you.

Panda loves !
8:54 PM

Friday, April 06, 2007

no.

i want to vent.

but i shan't.

talk to me in private if you're actually concerned.

if you're just curious, forget it.

that's it lah...

experienced mini miracles today...

first time was when i wanted to hear a part of a song...

then cos i didn't which part it was in...

so i was rewinding it blindly...

and when i pressed play...

it was at the exact spot where i wanted it to be.

praise the Lord. :)

second miracle... touched me... so much...

i was crying again...

and the song played...

" 痛苦从眼中流下, 我知道你为我擦"

and then i remembered... no matter what... God will always be there to help me wipe away my tears...

and it's because He loves me...

was so touched...

PRAISE THE LORD!

He died on the cross for me.

and He's willing to share my burdens with me.

and He carries me across my troubles.

His love is all i can ask for.

...

i'm loved.

...

PRAISE THE LORD!

ROCK ON JESUS!

i can't care about what you say anymore...

the Lord my God reigns forever and ever.

thank you Jesus.

later, toony

Panda loves !
6:30 PM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

finally...

finally can log in...

it's not wrong to want to die, is it?

...

ACJC band concert was damn nice lah...

their Ghost Train was like... cool...

and the percussion made it so nice lah.

and Ho Wen Long is the percussion SL.

it was really damn nice.

jiayou.

must be able to do that as well some day.

phantom of the opera songs are nice!

History results suck like mad... how to let my mum know?

eh... finally saw my angel.

Vanessa! :)

and i wanna switch back to trumpet... it's so cool lah...

but i can't play it well... bleah...

finally got an A1!!!

Geography :)

we were painting the class banner today...

it rocks! so cool man!

and when we practised the class cheer...

i could hear my class all the way from the carpark.

and it wasn't even the whole class.

rocks man.

but SJI cannot hear!!! how?

ah... hope the PE people get theirs done soon... Fann's getting stressed out le...

SY rocks! :)

GO SY!!!

...

so blessed.

never been so happy this whole entire year.

He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me.

...

GO JESUS!!!

ROCK ON!!!

...

life's starting to get better.

i don't want this feeling to end.

thanks all... for making me feel so loved...

thanks all... for making me so happy...

for making me feel so blessed...

thanks people...

you rock man!

PRAISE THE LORD!

...

have a blessed weekend everyone.

or as Janie says, have a good friday.

haha...

later, toony

Panda loves !
9:12 PM

Monday, April 02, 2007

yes...

i can finally log in! whoo! :)

so sorry for not linking you earlier Julia!!! great job with 400m today!!!

and i'm officially a clarinet player.

yup.

...

i miss the trumpet...

i know it's kinda awkward between the two of us now...

sometimes i wish you would just tell me everything...

i'm constantly guessing what you're trying to say...

and well...

truth be told...

i really miss having you as a friend...

you going the opposite direction every time i'm near you...

and like... totally avoiding me...

that's all i'm basically trying to say...

you've been a great friend...

don't stop now...

sorry if i hurt you...

i'm really sorry...

actually... just ignore everything you've read so far...

think it might be better for you...

yup.

...

people, ignore all of that.

yup.

...

is there anything wrong with putting God before studies?

i mean, seriously, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be more godly.

so stop putting so much emphasis on my studies.

i know you just want to make me significant.

so stop making me insignificant.

sometimes, i really think the devil resides in you.

tell him to GO AWAY.

stop acting like that.

mum.

i want to be significant.

My name is not important, but my Father is King.

so let me be a child of God in peace.

i. will. carry. on.

i. will. keep. following. God.

and. i. will. never. stop.

get used to it.

later, toony

Panda loves !
8:11 PM
PROFILE

Child of God
SHE'S a real person, but she shall just be known as toonyweeny here(:
she loves Sophie(her B flat clarinet) and Sophia(the alto clarinet).
she loves Percy(her piano) just as much too(: she really hopes you remember May 16 as it is an important day to her.
she loves SC and SC Band, and really hopes that things will go back to normal.
she's still waiting and hoping, but don't treat her like a fool(:
she is really really sincere, having been in it for four years.
lastly, she really hopes you have a nice time here :D

33/25/3001

SOUNDS



SITE RULES

RULES PLACED HERE .
- be nice(:
- please don't flame pandas here(:
- or clarinets
- or pianos.
- leave a tag!
- smile! Jesus loves you!:D

WHAT I WANT

WISHLIST
- music stand
- my own clarinet
- Skin Food nail polish! :D
- nice blank notebooks
- albums of band songs
- Whenever You Remember, You Raise Me Up and nice piano scores
- Christian literature
- ice-cream maker
- Topshop stuff!
- panda stuff
- WORLD PEACE!
RESOLUTIONS
- focus on GOD
- be a better daughter
- be more motivated to do stuff
- study hard!
- practise my piano and my clarinet much much more
- do well for grade 7 practical and theory
- get straight A1s
- give my parents more than enough reason to let me go back to church
- get my own clarinet
- be a better person



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Li Wen
Joanna
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Lindee
Wen Qian
Lyeann

Marissa
Sylvia
Qing Yi
clarinet blog ^^
SC Band
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