maybe leaving was better...

haiz, whatever. know what? my knee has stopped hurting ^^ of course, i'm not in much of a position to complain, seeing how NCC and Red Cross pump. but NCC-ers wearing long pants... so... aiyah, whatever.

i'm getting rather upset with the composition 老师 got us to do. it's making me reminiscince...

haiz, seriously, i can't forget that particular incident.

it was during combined service, and i was, as usual, sitting alone. all of a sudden, i felt something running down my nose, and, to my horror, found out it was blood.

now, see, being a little kid, i rarely brought tissue out with me, and being surrounded by unknown people didn't help at all. i was rather shy and didn't dare to ask for tissue, and just sat there with a hand over my nose hoping someone would notice.

well, not only did the lady beside me give me tissue, she brought me downstairs to an unoccupied room and switched on the air-condition. she made an ice pack for me and a Sunday School teacher got me milo and cake.

and the best part is that i didn't even know who she was. till now, i still don't.

i guess... maybe just sitting beside her made me part of her life.

and know what? she really changed mine.

i highly doubt she knows what she has done, and i think she thinks it really wasn't much. but... i can only thank God for letting me sit next to her that service, cos otherwise i might well have lost tons of blood.

and i remember all the unknown people who have talked to me, even a philipino maid. she was really friendly. everyone there is friendly.

yeah, i miss them. but hey, i'm still fine kay.

and i think peace should have descended upon them again.
please let there be peace, Father. thank You.
and i can't believe i forgot to do my devo last night. you stupid little girl...
no, i don't see a change. can't you understand why i'd rather talk to Fann than you?
and... this song rather unsuited to the entry... but i like it all the same. i like the meaning behind it.

Jordan Pruitt - Jump To The Rhythm

Oh, Doodoo-Doodoo-DooDoo-Doodoo-Doodoo-Yeah
Oh Jump in,
Oh oh oh, yeah yeah yeah
I used to think that winning was
For everyone else yeah
But then you showed me a picture of me being myself Yeah

You make me feel so special inside
Like there was nothing that I couldn't try
I'll always feel like a winner it's true oooh
With you
You make me wanna

[Chorus]
Jump to the rhythm
And step to the music
All in together lets show
How we do it
Step to the rhythm and dance to the music
All in together we shine

Yeah, Wooh
Life isn't all so simple though
Tough choices to make yeah
Trying to keep everyone happy can
Be a mistake yeah

The time has come to be true to yourself
Stop chasing dreams made for somebody else
Deep inside there's a winner it's true ooh in you
You make me wanna

[Chorus]
Jump to the rhythm
And step to the music
All in together lets show
How we do it
Step to the rhythm and dance to the music
All in together we shine

Jump to the rhythm
And step to the music
All in together lets show
How we do it
Step to the rhythm and dance to the music
All in together we shine

Jump in, hey
Jump out
Hey a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit oh
Turn it around
Yeah now bring it up high
Yeah can you touch the ground
He's got it, She's got it Everybody's got it!

The time has come to be true to yourself
Stop chasing dreams made for somebody else
Deep inside there's a winner it's true oooh in you
You make me wanna

[Chorus]
Jump to the rhythm
And step to the music
All in together lets show
How we do it
Step to the rhythm
And dance to the music
All in together we shine

Jump to the rhythm
And step to the music
All in together lets show
How we do it
Step to the rhythm
And dance to the music
All in together we shine

today... super super sian.

slept at midnight, wake up at 6, rush out at 7, carry Fann's horn to school... and i was still half-asleep can... i still am lah, actually.

well, anyway... got back History Tang/Gupta essay. and know what? I DIDN'T FAIL!!! AND IT'S CONSIDERED RATHER GOOD! heh. happy ^^

then ran home to get my band tee. wow, even worse. walked past 4 prefects can. then walked past BOTH vice-heads can. scared lah.

then the band was assembling at the courtyard. i was carrying my clarinet, so quickly ran back to put. then i heard a LOUD BAND FALL IN. so i just CHOING-ed to band room, and CHOING-ed back to courtyard. by the time the whole band was done, was at 27 le. that means 54 pumps on the rough ground.

...

54???!!!

till now my knee still hurts can.

then, wow, sian. a lot of turning, yelling and stuff. i don't want this again ><

practise was okay, but i kept squeaking at first.

and it ended at 6+, i got home at 6.30, had to leave house at 7 for piano. wow, very sian, but no choice lah...

piano... was really super super sian le, so i'm not sure if i played well.

i want to go sleep... but i want to watch Ghost Whisperer. heh.

shan't leave a song today...

and i seriously hope we have saxaphone players this year >.<

later, toony

went to sit in for the clarinet's sectionals today.

we were hiding outside the band room. was quite erm... overrated lahs. it's like... looking over corners... running away and stuff.

then after that, when the sec 2 clarinets came out of the room to wash their mouthpieces and stuff, i ran out and hid behind a pillar -_-

then when Ms Leong came and Fann and i went in, Marissa asked us why we were hiding outside ><

and er... ten people one pencil. LOL.

and Home Econs today... Hainanese chicken rice. not bad, get free lunch. even higher chance of beating Fann ^^

and science test... haiz. Mr Sim thought it was bad too. well, i didn't get lower than 20, it's still okay. haiz... jiayou young lady. JIAYOU!

hmm... i can't quite think of a song which would suit my mood... hmm...

guess i won't post a song today then ^^

and i'm slacking even though i still have to finish the book reviews.

... tomorrow's Friday and i've barely touched what Ms Leong wanted me to do. i've merely been practising low notes and pressing the trigger key.

haiz... feeling very tired now. and i have 1 hour before i start getting ready for bed. and i've barely touched the English worksheet.

school's super sian lah. and my mum wouldn't let me sleep in on weekends.

...

better stop slacking.

Tank - 岚

还记得那夜 清晨最初一眼
眼前的世界 看起来快毁灭
你在我身边 看着屋檐 像末日的雨天
假如雨越大些一 是否靠近一点

你没有察觉 心跳特别强烈
太疯狂沉默 却熄了一整夜
明明有感觉 可惜时间 流出了我指间
回头却看的见 满地回忆的碎片

那爱一直到今天 才在我心中浮现
爱情真出现那一瞬间 我们都没发现
那雨是一直到今天 爱下在我心里面
淋湿了双眼 湿过今天
才清晰的看见 你的脸

后来那几年 当然也有雨天
我开始学会 等雨后的晴天
谁在我身边 度过长夜 任雨点在倾泄
却再也找不回 当时心动感觉

你是否偶尔 像我静静怀念
那一样的爱 倾盆的那一年
如果那场雨 再度席卷 总熄在里面
我一定抱住你绝 对不让你走远

那爱一直到今天 才在我心中浮现
爱情真出现 那一瞬间 我们都没发现
那雨是一直到今天 爱下在我心里面
淋湿了双眼 湿过今天
才清晰的看见 你的脸

Carrie Underwood - Jesus Take The Wheel

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh I'm letting go
So give me one more me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh take it take it from me
Oh

haiz, spent the whole afternoon working on my math worksheet yesterday, then last night my cup of water was knocked over by my mum and spilled all over my worksheet. she didn't know, so okay, fine.

then she started scolding me for putting my cup in my room. seriously... like, wth lah. apologise and i'll just go sleep peacefully, do you really need dad to apologise on your behalf? what crap lah...

okay, fine, that's over le.

got quite a nice message in the morning. heh... thanks... ^^

in school... okay, it's still okay, didn't get booked for messy hair.

then got back Geog current affairs journal...

ungraded >.< so now i have to redo.

and when Ms Ku said she wanted to speak to me, i almost died lah...

and she spoke to me last... so i was watching her raise her voice at Nat. Saw... really freaked me out

but luckily, she didn't scold me ^^ so now i have more work to do. ah wells.

SEE SEE SEE ISABEL??? HE DID HELP YOU DIDN'T HE!!!

heh.

and Mr Sim refuses to explain what dissassociation constant means. haiz... i can absorb it lah...

so, okay, fine whatever...

Ms Chia came in for English and CE... CE topic was about forgiveness...

think i was the only one who really thought about it... forgiveness...

Forgive that you may be forgiven.

i don't think anyone else quite understands the significance of this quote. it is true, after all. when we pray, we go "forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors" or something like that... and like... i don't know why people scoff at this lesson.

forgiveness... it really isn't simple... really isn't... and the person scoffing the most was the person who would bear a grudge the most.

God put all of our sins on Jesus, and punished him. i remember some antichrist flamer on someone's blog said," if God really loves everyone like that, He would just forgive them. He wouldn't have let Jesus die."

well, God isn't just our Father... He's our King, Lord over everything. and a good King is just. and a good King is exactly what God is. he can't just forgive our sins like that without someone being punished...

the flamer probably wouldn't read this... but it's something i've been thinking about for a long while...

and i know i'm at fault. and i'm sorry i didn't inform her earlier.

but can i just ask why you didn't inform her either? you're sitting the closest to her after all. why is it that when you heard that she didn't know, you immediately turned around and gave me that look? you have to note that the rest of the group looks up to you as the leader. and being the leader is about being responsible for everything. so we're all at fault really, please think about the situation before you blame others.

forgiveness really isn't that easy... and i'm not angry with anyone right now... just... disappointed.

...

forgive that you may be forgiven...

and a song...

Mandy Moore - Cry

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon

You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in September
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure

You were all by yourself
Staring at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you I wanted to make your everything, all right...

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...

In places no one would find
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

whoo, looong entry today.

later, toony

haiz... i'm growing more and more doubtful of my science le. no offence >.< ah well, my science never was good anyways.

haiz... was so sleepy throughtout the day today lah. and i've barely made any progress on The Phantom of the Opera! GAH.

and thank goodness Mrs Tan didn't go through the worksheets, cos the ones she wanted to go through were the exact ones i gave up trying to do.

then... was practising piano... and then my clarinet... then put down my clarinet (without disassembling it, but with the cover over the mouthpiece) then went to do Math...

sian, fell asleep halfway through, wasted quite a bit of time. couldn't think of an answer, so put my head down to rest... then fell asleep >.< woke up when i heard Forever Love by Hui Min.

... think that's implying something, don't you think. ^^

well, at any rate, i think i'm going to seriously hate this week.

...

WHY IS EVERYTHING DUE ON THE 29th OF JUNE???!!! got hydroponic poster, book review, book proposal, and the English worksheet Ms Chia gave out today.

...

i'm in no mood for that dumb SCENTA thing lah... haiz...

school's super sian now >.<

JIAYOU!
the dream was so vivid... so real... and i really enjoyed it... does this mean i've made my choice? argh.
Avalon - Speed of Light

3 A.M. and you're tossing in your bed
Thoughts are turning in your head
You're hanging on, but how much longer

Why do empty things you pour your soul into
Never fill that void in you
Makes you wonder

There are shadows hanging over you
I know you wish that you could see beyond
But it's always darkest before the dawn

(Chorus:)
Love at the speed of light
Comes on the darkest night
Only takes a moment to change a life
All of us need His love
Come see the wonder of
The miracle that happens when we believe

Love at the speed of light
Comes on the darkest night
Only takes a moment to make us right
We can believe in love
We can be free at the speed of light

I've heard it said the peace of life that you desire
Is in the power that you acquire
You're moving up, but how much longer

What's it matter if you gain a wealth of gold
But in the process lose your soul
You have to wonder

There is darkness surrounding you
I hear you pray that you could see the sun
And that's the moment your freedom comes

(Chorus)

Break away, leave the cold night
Steal away from the shadows
Break away, leave the old life
Dance away from the dark
so His love will be most evident during troubling times... then i wouldn't mind having troubling times over and over again.
later, toony

first day of school. haiz...

in the morning at 6.16am... after my mum woke me up... intended to sleep in a little while longer before my phone vibrated. okay, never mind, was a well-intended message, so i appreciate it all the same ^^ thanks ^^

science test... okay lah... get below 25 i also wouldn't be surprised. it's never been good anyway, so i'm not expecting much this time round. but, i doubt i screwed it. and i learnt a lot more last night.

but History test... wow, 35.5 over 40, I ACTUALLY DIDN'T FAIL!!! :D heh.

and band prac... i finally reached the high notes lah!!! and i can start practising with a 3 reed :D

but sad, didn't join the main band today. i wanted to play Pirates. heh...

i really want to perform lah... haiz haiz haiz...

haiz... this morning... so ill le still come all the way to school... haiz...

and that Mr Tee arh. don't care about his welfare officer issit? *shakes head*

and heh, rather fun embarrassing Fann in front of her SL ^^
i really don't know what to do, when to do it and how to do it...i know i have to do something, but i just can't, that's it kay. haiz... someone pray for me?
later, toony

YES YES YES I GOT MY BOOK PROPOSAL DONE!!! :D

AND I FOUND PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!! I WON'T FAIL LIT NOW!!!

i was really really getting fustrated in the library just now lah. cannot find The Strange Tales of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, then was looking for Phantom adapted by Pauline Francis, still cannot find sia. then i prayed a little... AND I FOUND IT MAN!

He's so great mans. :D

...

i don't want to go to school lahs... seriously dreading it... I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP EARLY!!!

can i pon school and just go for band???

haiz haiz haiz... then will have to wait till September before i can sleep in le... haiz...

oh wells. JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU.

haiz...

tell me if i should give up hoping and believing she would change. tell me if i should do that. cos i still don't see any improvement in her attitude.

heh. thanks, XinMin 老师. we all love you too ^^

词曲:吴克群

许茹芸 - 好听

你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信

为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续

你说的话总那么好听
你爱不爱我不能确定
也许你只把他当游戏
我却爱得太用力

你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信

为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续

你说的话总那么好听
你爱不爱我不能确定
也许你只把爱当游戏
我却没那么聪明

你说的话总那么好听
你爱不爱我不想确定
我会关掉你送的手机
然后静静不去理

你说的话总那么好听
你爱不爱我不想确定
我会关掉你送的手机
然后静静 静静
是再也不去理

seriously... should i give up on you?

i actually started on my book proposal!

i'm so proud of myself lah! :D

okay, madness aside... haiz... i scolded the f-word yesterday. >.< have to be careful le...

oh, and for the concert my piano teacher's other students are organising, the SSO will be performing! that means MR YAP will be performing! :D

after that i think i'll go queue up to get an autograph from him LOL :D

but i think i'll be going in school uniform, cos i'll be going after band.

hopefully, Sylvia or Kelly will allow me to pon drills

it's going to be the first time i watch Mr Yap perform! i can't wait lah!

Mr Yap's the best man. i don't think any other school has such a great conductor ^^

YAY :D

and i fried my first eggs yesterday! so proud of myself lah! and most importantly, IT WAS EDIBLE :D

S.H.E - 绿洲

词:施人诚 杨子朴(vwnk)
曲:杨子朴(vwnk)

当孤单乾渴了我 是你开凿了河流
当狂风沙绝望了天空 是你开出花朵
我没说的你却都懂 连最隐密的伤痛
曾经世界就快要沉没 如果你没来复活我

还记得你说你爱我的时候 星空下有温柔的微风
我疲惫的心又开始有梦 再也没离开过

忍著寂寞穿越最荒凉的沙漠
找到失落已久的绿洲
如果这是生命的尽头
我会微笑著接受

当我找不到彩虹 是你放回我心中
当我遗忘快乐的感受 是你又教会我

还记得你说你爱我的时候 星空下有温柔的微风
我疲惫的心又开始有梦 再也没离开过

忍著寂寞穿越最荒凉的沙漠
找到失落已久的绿洲
如果这是生命的尽头
我会微笑著接受

later, toony

thank you. for everything you've done for me.

okay, it would be advisable to ignore the previous post. was super stressed out at that point of time. stupid book proposal.

i'm looking at my homework pile. i have the proposal, book review and still have to study for Science test on Monday.

hmm... i have to practise piano, clarinet, piano lesson and CIP on Sunday.

study for Science tomorrow, which means i have to finish the proposal today.

then on Saturday can study... Sunday can test myself... AND sleep early.

...

must be disciplined enough sia.

...

which means i have to stop blogging and go WORK.

later, toony

i just don't want to let anyone down. jiayou young lady. jiayou.

i'm just here to RANT and to SCREAM.

STUPID CRAPPY ENGLISH HOMEWORK WHICH TAKES UP SUCH A BIG PERCENTAGE OF MY LIT CA GRADE.

...

AND WHY, OF ALL TIMES DOES WINDOWS EXPLORER CHOOSE TO HANG NOW???!!!

ARGH!!!

and like, there's so much stuff that's starting to worry me le lah!

and i have barely started on Grade 6 theory when my exam is just 5 months away!

and it's gonna clash with my year-ends!

and my clarinet playing still doesn't sound good enough!

and i still can't reach the high notes

and i still CAN'T think of what my proposal should be like

and i have to finish my book review and my stupid draft in like, A WEEK

or i'll FAIL Lit IMMEDIATELY.

ARGH! SO CRAP LAH!

and i have to talk to my parents about going to the English service of Hakka Methodist.

seriously, i can't lah!

i know i have to, but i just don't dare lah! fine lah, whoever's reading this can laugh lah, i don't care anymore.

i know i appear to be like, super daring and whatever.

i still don't get it lah. why on earth am i more afraid of my parents than people i've known for only a few months?

if i get put into 2 CO next year, i'll just LAUGH lah

it'll be so unbearably IRONIC.

i admit lah. i'm afraid.

i'm afraid of embarrassing SC band on stage.

afraid of getting bad results and embarrassing my mum as i ALWAYS do

afraid of being a bad friend

afraid of being a bad junior

afraid of being a bad sister

afraid of being a bad daughter.

that's just it. i'm AFRAID.

...

go on. laugh. i don't care anymore.

...

who am i kidding? of course i do.

okay, i'm getting desperate.

ANYONE HAS A HORROR BOOK THEY CAN LEND ME???

thanks ^^

POTC music third clarinets part is difficult lah.

or maybe i'm just inadequate ><

haiz... have to really work hard le... think Mr Yap really wants us to perform on the 28th of July.

hmm... hopefully i can perform... but that means i'll have to work really really hard. JIAYOU!

and well... last night something really good happened to me...

it's difficult to express it's significance... cos as i think about what i would say, it just seems so insignificant, so... crap-like lah.

but i know it's not... and i'm really don't want anyone to look at me and just say,"so?"

cos i know it's really really significant to me... and it's really as if there was an angel on the other end.

grr...

well, at any rate i know i have a friend.

thanks man... if you read this.

later, toony

i thank You Father, but forgive me for being so inadequate, for being so useless, so unable to convey the message.

band prac! was just about the same as yesterday's lah.

was trying to play Pirates of the Carribean. again. but i borrowed the score home... think i'll have fun trying it out lahs.

anyways... i'm gonna have to say goodbye to my piano soon :*(

i've been playing on it for 8-10 years already... too attached le.

haiz... bye bye Kawai K48! i'll miss you! you're going away to get a new life! and there'll be another kid playing on you! have fun with that little kid!

okay. now, a song... sounds rather sad, but it's really nice lahs. hope it won't ever apply to me.

曹格 - 背叛

雨 不停落下来 花 怎么都不开
尽管我细心灌溉 你说不爱就不爱 我一个人欣赏悲哀

爱 只剩下无奈 我 一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间 永远都夹着空白 缺了一块就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何 say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼
把手放开不问一句 say goodbye 当作最后一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管 只要你能愉快

心 有一句感慨 我 还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前 替我再回头看看 那些片段还在不在

hmm... maybe i should switch to radio blog club. hmm...

later, toony

band prac today... was kinda scary lahs. we were playing with the main band all the way ><>freaky funny. they sang L-O-V-E so loudly Linda, who was sitting on the other side was laughing so hard lah.

and the Grade 6 piece is not easy kay! the notes are simple, but you have to get used to the ta-ta-ta ta-ta-ta ta-ta ta-ta-ta ta-ta-ta ta-ta part kay. and it's like, when i first tried it i got lost at the second line. not simple okay!

even so, Qingyi is still pro at the piano. hope i can match up to her standard next year.

and after sectionals we were playing with main band. it's like... i got used to one part le, then move on to the next. and their fast notes are really fast kay. cannot catch up at all lahs.

and i got into trouble again... haiz... very scared of *ahem* now lahs...

after that had recruits outing. interesting debate on whether we should go Mos Burger, Seoul Garden or Yoshinoya. in the end, Abigail and i had Tori-Q while the others had Yoshinoya.

then we walked to Cinea and took neos! then cos got one big one we couldn't divide, we're being kind and giving it all to SYLVIA :D

then, dismissed!

heex. SC BAND ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS! i love my fellow recruits ^^ and seniors ^^ and teachers ^^ and conductor ^^

really cannot wait till i join main band. just that i would get really really stiff from sitting for too long a time.

SC BAND ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS!

band prac! :D

my beloved clarinet!!! :D

it was kinda freaky. was talking to Emily Lew when Mr Yap walked by.

then cos i asked Emily, " what are you doing here?" Mr Yap came over and asked the recruits," what are you doing here?"

lol.

and Mr Yap asked us to join our seniors. then i was trying to play along, but after a while i got really really lost.

haiz... think i'm gonna die in main band >.<

and don't know why lah, was quite lost today. kept running out of breath and all. haiz...

have to jiayou le! after piano lesson later think i might practise more on my clarinet.

heex. my life is GREAT MANS!

recruit outing on Wednesday! i'm gonna force everyone to try FRIED MARS BARS!

later, toony

my dear... you really have no reason to be unhappy... you've got your music, you've got great friends, what more could you possibly ask for?
yep. i'm really happy now. :D

you think i like being this absent-minded? you think i enjoy being so out of focus? you know there's something wrong, but does that necessarily mean there's a guy involved? i just woke up! i slept at 2am earlier in the day, i got less than 8 hours of sleep the previous day, OF COURSE I'D BE OUT OF FOCUS. and haven't you contemplated that i might just be MOODY? just be UPSET and LONELY? REMINISCING HERE.

I AM NOT DREAMING OF SOME GUY.

...

and just who am i trying to kid? sure i am, but that's not what's distracting me. that's not what matters most to me now.

argh. how can you possibly bear to ruin a happy mood like that? why do you have to make it so awkward and angry? IT'S NOT FAIR. you know how long it was since i last cried? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?

HOW DO YOU POSSIBLY EXPECT ME TO WISH YOU HAPPY FATHER'S DAY LIKE THAT?

...

i'm still happy ^^

my sister is no longer completely ignoring me now ^^

which is great!

i can ignore the insults, cos this is worth it.

BAND PRACTISE TOMORROW!!! I REALLY CAN'T WAIT.

and no, i haven't finished my homework yet. ah wells. who cares. fill my last week up.

keep my mind away from loneliness.

my beloved clarinet!!! i really can't wait!!!

...

i haven't been practising the fingerings though. and i'm gonna be in trouble >.<

ah wells.

i'm still happy ^^

i hope.

was watching MTV the other day, came across this very nice song, MV quite cool as well. it's a new band. but it's still nice ^^

樱桃帮 - 你爱我吗

你爱我吗 你是爱我的吧　未来真的很长　如果你不愿意回答
最后我会再问你一次你爱我吗

从前我们走过的地方　像是一幅幅美丽的画
曾经那些天真的梦想　是不是只能是童话
为什么我们变成这样　拿着电话却说不出话
或许眼泪不让它流下　就好像不那么悲伤

你爱我吗　你是爱我的吧　当你眼睛低下　低下头不说一句话
你爱我吗　你是爱我的吧　未来真的很长　如果你不愿意回答
最后我会再问一次你爱我吗

为什么变得如此沉默　回忆我们最初的承诺
就让那些浪漫的所有　都消失成黑色天空

你爱我吗　你是爱我的吧　当你眼睛低下　低下头不说一句话
你爱我吗　你是爱我的吧　未来真的很长　如果你不愿意回答
你爱我吗　你是爱我的吧　未来真的很长　如果你不愿意回答
最后我会再问一次你爱我吗

nice song sia...

and another one... still relatively emo...

五月天 -米老鼠

一身黑皮肤白手套红短裤 一双大大耳朵
随时在向人打招呼

他是我朋友 陪我笑陪我哭
尤其是当我当我最无助
有他听著我倾诉

梦中城堡里面跳舞 醒了世界依然残酷

以为我爱著孤独 以为自己不会迷路
以为自己跟自己再不用谁照顾
以为我爱著孤独却又崩溃的无助
谁能让我拥抱著尽情的哭
让我唯一的朋友不是老鼠

谁是草莓族 你才是榴连族
一身伤人顽固 伤害我还要我不哭
摩天轮停住 咖啡杯不跳舞
孩子练习著让悲伤麻木 快乐也开始麻木

later, toony

help her, Father.

yesterday was so cool lah. best time i've had in ages.

okay, left the house at 12.40 yesterday after a few bites of fried rice. was going to meet QINGYI at Famous Amos in Wisma Atria at about 1.30

reached Orchard at 1, so decided to spend the $25 gift card i got from mum. bought a new book and a bookmark. yay...

then went to Famous Amos and waited for Qingyi. when she came she was laughing about the people who dressed up as sheep. lol... telling me so many lame jokes sia. made me laugh so much

then went over to Taka, and Qingyi bought ice-cream. then we went to the library. tried to look for some horror books, but they still don't have. haiz...

after that we went to Far East cos Qingyi wanted to buy stuff to make earrings. then i tried fried mars bars with chocolate sauce and vanilla ice-cream. it's super nice, next time i go Far East i'll buy again.

and then er... walked back to Wisma to get my ears pierced... wow... everything was going fine until i saw what they were going to pierce my ears with. it looked like a mini gun... freaked me out...

then we went to Cinea... to take neos. when we got there found out there was a Bits and Pieces there as well -.- then we took neos... and yeah, i agree lah. spastic senior, sane junior. and the shoe =.=lll

after that went to the Expo. it has been a long time since i last took a train for 30 minutes. then went to look for Abigail, and i experienced the first great thing God did for me this week

cos our pass only allowed us to be seated if there were unoccupied seats. then one of the New Creation Church people exchanged our passes for the normal ones. and it was so good, cos otherwise won't have goodie bags, won't have good seats, wouldn't have had so much fun. :D

then after we got our seats went out to look for Yilin. very confusing crowd, so went to get the stamp before i went out to pass Yilin his tickets.

then the person on stage was entertaining us with some funny dance. the people were so funny lah. and the RG girl is very pro. very amusing

then, concert started! :D they invited us to go there and jump, so Yilin, Qingyi and i went. was great jumping like that. then they sang Jump Around... it was so high lah... so fun... but i kept stepping on the people's feet... and my hair must have hit them a lot... so paiseh sia ^^"

then they told us to return to our seats... rather sad, Planetshakers only perform about 6 songs... but was still cool lah! and then the sermon... the pastor quite funny lah...

then... something happened... changed quite a lot of stuff... yeah...

after that... when we returned to our seats... Qingyi, Silyn and her friend had left le... so we were there singing worship songs written by New Creation Church... rather good, the songs...

after all that, haiz, concert end. it was really awesome, really great lah... was so fun... worth the trip there and the trip back.

got some stuff happen on the way back that i wouldn't like to comment on...

then i got back home at midnight. immediately got myself a cup of hot steaming MILO. it still rocks. Milo ROCKS :D

then after that, read the biblezine for a little while, brushed teeth and all, devo, and went to sleep. 1.45. great day man! :D

then this morning, went Mcdonalds for breakfast. cos i was still quite tired, not thinking straight, i left the house keys in Mcdonalds, so was really praying that i would find it lahs... and the nice young lady did find it! was so happy kay!

hmm... in some ways Pastor Prince was right... God will use your weakness to make Him known to the world... for me it's my absent-mindedness ba... :D

and i got a new recon piano! yay!

PLANETSHAKERS ROCKS!

later, toony

thank You Father. thank You for letting me be able to make it.

thank You Father, for letting them be able to make it.

thank You Father, for the great wonderful night of last night.

thank You Father, for all the great miracles you have shown me.

thank You Father, for alwas walking with me.

thank You for letting me know him.

i'm not going to Malaysia! :D

Planetshakers tomorrow! i can't wait lah!!! :D

going out with QINGYI tomorrow! YAY! :D

getting my ears pierced tomorrow! :D

gonna pig out with Qingyi tomorrow! :D

gonna see friends tomorrow! :D

I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! :D

yup. no more emo-ness. YAY! :D

happy happy happy ^^

WHOO!

I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D

...

now i feel kinda bad...

haiz... have to go cheer others up le...

come on girl.

BE HAPPY EVERYONE! WE'RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO THE DAY GOD'S KINGDOM COMES AGAIN!!!

WHOO!!!

ha. so high sia.

green bean soup rocks ^^

later, toony

and i'm done with the planning for my Chinese work! :D

i've just realised that my problems are supremely minuscule as compared to others.

and i won't get so upset over someone who's not worth it anymore.

...

haiz... everyone so unhappy this year... WHY???

...

dear church camp angel... everything will be alright yeah...

hmm, next time i sing with you. and i drum with you. and i play badminton with you. then you see who's more pro.

and it's how God created you. He doesn't make mistakes.

...

dear church camp mortal...

smile yeah! be happy!

...

dear clarinet senior...

who cares about NJ when you can have another shot at HWA CHONG!!!

HWA CHONG MAN!!!

so who cares man... :D

...

i will not be unhappy any longer.

there's no reason for me to be...

come on girl. smile. for them all. he's not worth being upset over. be strong.

come on people! emo-ness isn't good! it's not healthy!

and we're all God's creation! we're all good!

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!

:DDDDDDD

later, toony

i shall dedicate this post to my great clarinet senior,

QINGYI

thanks a lot a lot for the talk yesterday! eased the loneliness of being at home alone ^^

also, thanks a lot a lot for practising pieces with such a hopeless junior. i know i'm not very good... and you could be practising pieces for the band concert on the 28th of July with the others... but you chose to practise with me! THANK YOU! :D

and thanks for being so FUNNY. your ondei ondei was quite nice wor... ^^ i want to learn how to make ^^

and thanks for making me feel so welcomed in the clarinet section! it's really helpful. *nods*

and thanks for offering to lend me reeds ^^ i bought new ones already...

heex. to end it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

LIFE WITHOUT QINGYI REALLY IS LIKE A DOUGHNUT. :D

love!

later, toony (leewei/skunk ^^)

i can see the joy they have... being part of a group...

...

yeah. loneliness makes a person crazy.

oh my gosh... this isn't fair...

you want to go Malaysia, do me a favour? book in advance

you're telling me now? and we're gonna leave tomorrow?

and you don't want to be back by Thursday night?

you know how friggin' long i've been waiting for this concert?

and i'm so worried that Ms Evelyn would think i put my friends and a concert before piano.

i specifically postponed piano lesson for this okay

and hell. it's just a mistake. everyone makes them. EVEN YOU DO.

it's not fair. it really isn't.

if this was to visit my grandmother or something, then fine, i'll go.

BUT THIS IS FOR MY SISTER'S PROJECT.

it doesn't concern me whatsoever, firstly.

secondly, she's friggin' ignoring me. CAN'T YOU SEE?

can i be selfish, just this once? just this once?

...

dear Father, please tell me what to do.

it's okay, it's all okay.

1: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself.
2: People who got tagged must write it in their own blog and state this rule clearly.
3: At the end of the game, list down 4 people to be tagged and NO TAGBACKS.

ooh... this isn't going to be easy...

1.erm... little known facts also can right... erm... heex, secret ^^ (actually it's just that i don't know lah...)
2.i play pretend by myself all the time.
3.i don't have a favourite singer, though the band i PREFER is Mayday
4.aiyah. don't know le leh.
5.take from the previous post can?
6.okay, i think i'll take from the previous post.
7.what was it again arh?
8.seriously cannot remember leh.
9.hmm... i talk to myself a lot right...
10. yay, i've finished ^^

now have to get 4 people to do this...
1.Sylvia
2.Dione
3.Amanda Lim
4.Qingyi.

wheeeeeeeee, i'm done ^^

and guess what?

.
.
.
.
.
.

I FINISHED HISTORY!!!

so proud of myself ^^

okay, have to go for dental appointment le...

why on earth are you so nice to me???

later, toony

someone told me to do this in February... then always too lazy to do until now >.<

kay anyway...

7 weird facts about me:
1) i laugh a lot
2)i laugh for hardly any good reason
3)i talk to myself. a lot.
4)i talk to my stuffed toys. a lot.
5)my stuffed toys are my best friends
6)i picked Horror for my book genre even though i hate the books >.<
7)eh, apart from that, i'm relatively normal.

7 habits about me:
1)i talk to myself
2)i befriend stuffed toys
3)i laugh a lot
4)i get into trouble a lot too
5)i set deadlines for myself (even though i rarely adhere to it)
6)tend to give an impromptu speech rather then look at my script
7)i stone a lot too.

7 things about me:
1)i love pandas
2)utterly bored right now
3)i've been cheating on the impossible quiz for just about all the questions
4)i love chocolate too
5)very short memory
6)i won't mind being a zookeeper in the San Diego Zoo. they have pandas there
7)i rarely talk sense.

7 people/groups of people i love
1)God
2)people from Hakka Methodist
3)my classmates (6SY '06 onwards)
4)my fellow recruits in band
5)my seniors
6)Ms Leong, Ms Ng and Mr Yap ^^
7)YOU! :D

7 people that i don't really like:
1)the devil
2)him.
3)whatever evil nasty people i might meet in the future
4)me
5)myself
6)and i
7) hmm... no more le leh.

7 desires
1)to grow closer to God
2)to bring others to Him
3)go church again... hate this idling around on Sundays
4)be a better friend
5)and a better student
6)and a better History student
7)play the clarinet and the piano well

7 people to do this
1)erm... Qingyi
2)Marissa
3)Fann
4)Abigail
5)Dione
6)Sylvia
7)Amanda Lim

yay, i'm done ^^ completed it after four months. i'm so proud of myself ^^

later, toony

loneliness reaching it's peak...

sometimes... i really wish i could be part of the movies you watch on Disney Channel.

you see people who are willing to break free from all expectations, willing to stand for what they believe.

you see a friend, who's always there. always comforting, always supportive.

you see a family. a real, complete, open family, who supports whatever decision you make.

you see that they always follow their hearts.

...

why aren't we allowed to do that in reality?

why can't we break free?

why can't we have THAT friend, who never leaves you, understands you truly, and who is always by your side?

why is it that in this community, such families are so rare?

why can't we follow our hearts? why can't we reach for the stars?

...

because that's what reality is. reality is about being practical. it's about doing what people expects from us. about doing what is traditional.

in the movies, they make it seem as if such friends are everywhere.

but reality, it's so different. you could spend your whole life looking for such a friend, but that friend might never appear.

thank you for being such a great friend. for dying for us all.

...

if i could live in my own fantasy... i would erase all my mistakes... i would make myself just about flawless... i would erase all the sins i've felt the effect of.

but that wouldn't be a life.

it'd be a lie.

...

this loneliness is really taking a toll on me...

just finished reading Daddy Longlegs.

if i knew it was something like a love story i would have picked another book >.<

haiz... i never knew Ang Mo Kio Hub was so big

Vivo City no. 2. haiz.

...

suddenly missing Saltshakers like mad... :(

it's okay... it's all okay...

...

yeah. it's all okay.

...

still... i can't help it lahs...

:(((

later, toony

waaaaaaaaaaa... my zookeeper has been so unhappy lately :(

zookeeper must CHEER UP.

zookeeper must be STRONG.

zookeeper must know that her skunk is behind her ALL THE WAY.

zookeeper must know that GOD still cares.

zookeeper must know that her FAMILY still care.

zookeeper must know that her ZOO still cares.

...

i seriously wonder if the zookeeper is bothered to read her skunk's blog.

>.<

later, toony

(a SC band clarinet section thing, so those not in SC band or the clarinet section, ignore this.)

we live to see the day we die.

this is a quote from Pirates Of The Carribean. Captain Babosa was yelling it as the crew of the Black Pearl were preparing for battle agains the East India Company.

really set me thinking.

how true is that quote?

well, after all, what is it exactly that makes us live each day? at the end of the day, after all your glory days, what's left for you, but that passing we call 'death'?

so, is it really true that we live to see the day we die?

...

feedback?

...

i still can't believe how great our God is.

^^

yep yep yep. He's really great. ^^ Dione can prove it to you.


单单只为你
By 翠湖寒
主，给我一个梦，敬拜的声音，如大水澎湃。
高举的双手，充满在这地。
主，给我一个梦，年轻的灵魂，活着只为你。
每一个梦想，只是为你。
今天，我选择跟随你，洁净我做圣洁的器皿，
面对困难，也不气馁，因赏赐是你，收取也是你。
今天，我选择跟随你，只愿你荣耀充满这地。
你行大事，不可测度，每个梦想，单单只为你。
主，给我一个梦，祷告的声音，如馨香之深。
呼求耶和华的昼夜不停息。
主，给我一个梦，执政掌权者，高举主的名。
万膝跪拜，回转向你。
今天，我选择跟随你，洁净我做圣洁的器皿，
面对困难，也不气馁，因赏赐是你，收取也是你。
今天，我选择跟随你，只愿你荣耀充满这地。
你行大事，不可测度，每个梦想，单单只为你。

not bad song either ^^

okay, i shall TRY to do work now ^^

later, toony

to anyone who noticed... i'm okay now...

so the person who said he'd be there doesn't even want to talk to me.

i really wanted you to talk to me. really wanted you to be my pillar of strength.

but you couldn't be bothered.

but it's okay. my Father will make it okay.

His joy, peace, fullness, friendship and GREAT, EVERLASTING love makes it all okay.

...

it's okay. it's all okay.

...

totally lost my mugger-ish mood now lahs.

argh... gotta GET IT BACK.

and i can't find my dental appointment slip from the school

so i can't remember if it's the 11th or 12th June.

GAH.

...

wah... holidays so lonely... no one's talking to me at home...

argh... seriously wish i was in Thailand right now... haiz...

but it's okay :)

...

one of my favourite songs. Chinese worship song from one of the CDs Huishan lent me. yup, God wipes away all your tears for you, so keep trusting in Him!

赞美之泉 - 祷告

祷告 因为我渺小
祷告 因为我知道我需要
明瞭
你心意对我重要

祷告 已假装不了
祷告 因为你的爱我需要
你关怀 我走过的你都明白

有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下 我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

所需要的力量你天天赐给我(3X）
你恩典够我用
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

i particularly agree with the words in red.

^^

later, toony

no human is perfect. please don't expect yourself to be either. everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets mistaken. please, please stop being so hard on yourself.

you're not stupid, alright? if you were, you wouldn't be in SY. you probably wouldn't even be in SC. so please, please, don't be so hard on yourself.

even if no one around you seems to care, your Father, the creator of the world, He cares, so so much. He loves you, so so much.

...

isn't that enough?

okay, firstly, I DID NOT CUT MY HAIR SO THAT IT LOOKS LIKE SYLVIA'S ON PURPOSE. I WAS THINKING OF HOW TO CUT IT WHEN THE HAIRDRESSER JUST CUT IT.

...

today was the first day in ages that i wasn't living inside my head. and yeah, that's great.

...

met up with Nat Sim for the first time since the start of this year. she hasn't changed much, just that she's now wearing glasses.

was walking to the library before i went to meet up with them, then as i was walking, this guy suddenly came up to me and said hello.

wah. freaky. wasn't expecting that at all.

then first thing he said after hello, "don't worry, wo3 bu2 shi4 shen2 me se4 lang2"

turns out he wanted my to buy a memo pad for $10 to help people. but hor, i didn't have enough money, so donated $2.

somehow... kinda wished i had given him $10. damn. i hate regretting.

after i borrowed two horror books, went over to Plaza Sing, then had to go arcade cos they were all at the arcade.

then had lunch at Swensens... oh my gosh...

Joanna and Nat. Sim actually put CHEESE in their plain water.

and ALL over their pizza

and all over the scraps of food left.

and over the ice-cream.

...

*ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

then we went to Yamaha, cos Fann wanted to buy a stand

then in the end, she decided not to, cos she didn't like the colour

=.=lll

then we went to watch the movie...

and we say a teacher from SC o.O

then went to watch Pirates of the Carribean.

very funny, quite good, and the special effects are GREAT.

after the movie, we went to take neos.

a lot of spastic poses.

...

all in all, rather good day

haven't felt so carefree for a while ^^

oh oh oh.

i have a C grade mind

weighs about 700g, and i can be a museum curator.

odd though, my history is really TERRIBLE.

and Fann's brain weighs about 500g *airhead* and can be a musician

Esther and Nicole's weighs about 400g and they're both fashion stylist.

but Nat aced it. her's is about 2000g. so smart.

...

i hate this.

why can't good moods last?

later, toony

i finally finished Frankenstein ^^

and i found a song!

其实很爱你
演唱:张韵涵
张韶涵-其实很爱你

离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把他从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都
会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
仿佛被你伤得好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由挽留

...

should add this to my playlist as well right...

later, toony

okay, i'm being guai and blogging again... cos Fann asked me too ^^

last night was super sleepless lah... kept waking up in between dreams

then wake up at 11 ><

and i was considering just having lunch

and i decided that if i have late breakfast, i'll have a late lunch, then i won't need to eat so much for dinner

^^

i should try sleeping earlier

but last night was so sleepless

so now i don't see why i should go to bed so early anymore.

...

see arh

if you're just going to spend 2-3 hours tossing and turning in bed, what's the point of going to bed at 10? might as well wait 2-3 hours later before you go to bed, and do something productine with that time right?

^^

and i'm so sad Belle cancelled her party :(

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i didn't even get to say goodbye to her...

T_T

so mean sia...

haiz...

chicken of the sea.

...

such a funny little girl... as in, humourous funny.

^^

ah wells

another random post

later, toony

Kelly Clarkson - Beautiful Disaster

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right

Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

His magical myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the ends he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take

Oh and I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

...

this is nice too ^^

...

i need another four-way conversation.

those three other people. can please come online?

okay, that's kinda dumb, cos if they read this, it means they are online.

...

i'm not making any sense.

...

vanilla essence smells great.

later, toony

i'm in a rather cheerful mood today

must be the four-way conversation i had last night ^^

so fun arh

and i cut my hair today

was intending to just trim my fringe

but the hairdresser cut it really short

so i have no idea whatsoever how i should pull it back now.

...

ah well. it looks nice ^^

at least it's not as short as before ^^

i'm currently working for my parents

ironing clothes is actually quite a good way to earn money ^^

so fun arh

anyways, here's a song.

or rather, the lyrics to the song ^^

Kelly Clarkson - You Found Me

Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I've become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me

So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me

And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?

You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me

(You found me)
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be?)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me
You found me

...

i should add it to my playlist.

later, toony

Tank - 非你莫属

懂得让我微笑的人
再没有谁比你有天份
轻易闯进我的心门
明天的美梦你完成
整个宇宙浩瀚无边的尽头
每颗渺小星球
全都绕着你走
爱我非你莫属
我只愿守护
由你给我的幸福
爱我非你莫属
也许会笑着哭
但那人是你所以
不怕苦

懂得让我流泪的人
给的感动一定是最深
在我心中留下伤痕
你同时点亮了星辰
看那麽多相遇
偏偏只和你
天造地设般产生奇迹
哦我心的缝隙
我想除了你
任谁也无法填补这空虚

...

this song is stuck in my head.

爱我非你莫属
我只愿守护
由你给我的幸福
爱我非你莫属
也许会笑着哭
但那人是你所以
不怕苦

IT'S SO NICE LAH.

...

i really want my own clarinet.

envy Sylvia, who has her own saxophone.

haiz.

super dead all of a sudden.

...

I HAVE TO PERK UP.

yeah.

PERK UP.

...

ya know...

someone once told me that sleep was good

cos you feel a ton better when you wake up.

well...

he was right.

...

suddenly have the urge to listen to Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson.

he's so beautiful...

he's such a beautiful disaster...

such a random post man.

later, toony

The Portrait

Once there was a Father and son who were very close and enjoyed adding valuable art pieces to their collection. Priceless works by Picasso, Van Gogh, Monet and many others adorned the walls of the family estate.

The widowed, elder man looked on with satisfaction as his only child became an experienced art collector. The son's trained eye and sharp business mind caused his father to beam with pride as they dealt with art collectors around the world.

As winter approached, war engulfed the nation, and the young man left to serve his country. After only a few short weeks, his father received a telegram. His beloved son was missing in action.

The art collector anxiously awaited more news, fearing he would never see his son again. Within days, his fears were confirmed. The young man had died while rushing a fellow soldier to a medic.

Distraught and lonely, the old man faced the upcoming Christmas holidays with anguish and sadness. The joy of the season, a season that he and his son had so looked forward to, would visit his house no longer.

On Christmas morning, a knock on the door awakened the depressed old man. As he walked to the door, the masterpieces of art on the walls only reminded him that his son was not coming home.

As he opened the door, he was greeted by a soldier with a large package in his hand. He introduced himself to the man by saying, "I was a friend of your son. I was the one he was rescuing when he died. May I come in for a few moments? I have something to show you." As the two began to talk, the solider told of how the man's son had told everyone of his, not to mention his father's, love of fine art. "I'm an artist,"said the soldier, "and I want to give you this."

As the old man unwrapped the package, the paper gave way to reveal a portrait of the man's son. Though the world would never consider it the work of a genius, the painting featured the young man's face in striking detail. Overcome with emotion, the man thanked the soldier, promising to hang the picture above the fireplace.

A few hours later, after the soldier had departed, the old man set about his task. True to his word, the painting went above the fireplace, pushing aside thousands of dollars of paintings. And then the man sat in his chair and spent Christmas gazing at the gift he had been given.

During the days and weeks that followed, the man realized that even though his son was no longer with him, the boy's life would live on because of those he had touched. He would soon learn that his son had rescued dozens of wounded soldiers before a bullet stilled his caring heart.

As the stories of his son's gallantry continued to reach him, fatherly pride and satisfaction began to ease the grief. The painting of his son soon became his most prized possession, far eclipsing any interest in the pieces for which museums around the world clamored. He told his neighbors it was the greatest gift he had ever received.

The following spring, the old man became ill and passed away. The art world was in anticipation! Unmindful of the story of the man's only son, but in his honor; those paintings would be sold at an auction. According to the will of the old man, all of the art works would be auctioned on Christmas day, the day he had received his greatest gift.

The day soon arrived and art collectors from around the world gathered to bid on some of the world's most spectacular paintings.

Dreams would be fulfilled this day; greatness would be achieved as many would claim "I have the greatest collection."

The auction began with a painting that was not on any museum's list. It was the painting of the man's son. The auctioneer asked for an opening bid. The room was silent. "Who will open the bidding with $100?" he asked. Minutes passed. No one spoke. From the back of the room came, "Who cares about that painting? It's just a picture of his son. Let's forget it and go on to the good stuff."

More voices echoed in agreement. "No, we have to sell this one first," replied the auctioneer. "Now, who will take the son?" Finally, a friend of the old man spoke. "Will you take ten dollars for the painting? That's all I have. I knew the boy, so I'd like to have it. "I have ten dollars."

"Will anyone go higher?" called the auctioneer.

After more silence, the auctioneer said, "Going once, going twice. Gone."

The gavel fell. Cheers filled the room and someone exclaimed, "Now we can get on with it and we can bid on these treasures!"

The auctioneer looked at the audience and announced the auction was over. Stunned disbelief quieted the room. Someone spoke up and asked, "What do you mean it's over? We didn't come here for a picture of some old guy's son. What about all of these paintings? There are millions of dollars of art here! I demand that you explain what's going on here!."

The auctioneer replied, "It's very simple. According to the will of the father, whoever takes the son . . . gets it all."

Puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Just as those art collectors discovered on that Christmas day, the message is still the same: the love of a Father, a Father whose greatest joy came from his son, who went away and gave his life rescuing others. And because of that Father's love, whoever takes the Son gets it all.

Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:17

...

yep yep yep ^^