wheeeee... i'm slightly happier now... don't i just looooove all my friends... haha... *hugs*

anyways... i shall start on a quiz... haha...

Things about you (random).

What's your biggest fear?
depression...

What makes you happy?
my friends! CHURCH!

You like...?
i don't like. i LOVE. i LOVE church. and pandas. and my GREAT friends.

Your favorite shampoo?
Johnson & Johnson Kids strawberry surprise. haha

Your favorite body soap?
Dove!

You wish your eyes were...?
I like my eyes.

Are you a clean freak?
erm... sometimes...

Do you cuss a lot?
Huh?

What does your hair look like?
black. brown! brownish black! blackish brown! uh-oh...

Do you burn CDs a lot?
haven't burnt any for a while...

What's your favorite, night or day?
somewhere in the middle?

What's your favorite time of day?
8 a.m.

What's your favorite time of night?
hmm... good question...

Been in love before?
I love everyone.

Do you miss anyone right now?
everyone from church!

What annoys you?
nothing.

What's your favorite song?
my camp song! FOREVER LOVE!!!

What's your favorite line from a song?
" God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. He works in ways, we cannot see. He will make a way for me."

What's your favorite quote?
"Pandas and bears unite! Someday we'll rule the world."

What's your favorite movie?
Shrek!

What's your favorite quote from a movie?
"Somehow, i don't think i'll be welcomed at the country club."

What's your favorite brand of clothing?
no favourites. wait... APPLEMINT!!!

What's your favorite brand of shoes?
Nike!

Do you paint your fingernails?
no. i may be bored, but i'm not that bored.

What's a shitty movie you've seen lately?
I don't watch shitty movies.

Coke or Pepsi?
MILO!!!

Love or lust?
Love.

Widescreen or Fullscreen?
Fullscreen.

Do you get scared easily?
erm...

Do you have any siblings?
One 16-year-old sister.

Are your mom and dad still together?
Yes.

Bath or shower?
Shower. saves water.

Your favorite color?
black and white and green.

What movie star do you think is beautiful (woman)?
hmm... can i get back to you on that one?

What movie star do you think is hot (guy)?
erm... none?

Do you like candles?
i prefer the beach. okay... random...

More random things.

Perfect gift?
A BIG HUG!!!

Favorite saying?
you're weird...

What kinda car do you drive?
BUMPER CARS!!!

What color is your car?
I don't have a car. a remote-controlled one, i have. it's red.

Where do you work?
School.

How old are you?
12.

Do you have any animals?
live ones? or stuffed ones?

One word to describe you?
confusing.

How tall are you?
1.6?

Do you have a cell phone?
i love my phone...

Watch alot of TV?
Nope. i prefer to read.

Who is your best friend?
male or female? male... Clement. female? Terri!

Who do you miss right now?
my old self.

Are you bored?
if i wasn't, would i be doing this?

Do you daydream a lot?
yep.

Can you swim?
yes.

What's your middle name?
I have no middle name.

Who was the last person to call you?
hmm... Linda.

What's your favorite smell in the whole world?
the smell of my panda

How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two. one small one, one BIG one.

Are you shy?
oh, very.

Do you regret anything?
i try not to regret anything.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
no. those are only passing infatuations.

What's your religion?
Christianity.

Are you happy?
a bit high... not that happy... (relax, i'm not taking drugs.)

What's your name?
Lee Wei.

Birthday?
16 May 1994. sounds nice, right?

Finish this...

You had me from...
... what car do you drive?

I'll...
... crawl into bed and sleep if i can.

I miss...
... CHURCH CAMP!!!

Your touch...
... feels weird...

Smell...
... my blankies! haha

You're very...
... lame... (not Dione. my Milo group leader and Risheng)

wheee... that's done! haha...

later, toony

i LOVE my church.

all that love... it's fantastic.

had a Christmas party at my church on Saturday... Sunday School and the youths had to sing Christmas Carols... and that Elijah arh... forgot to take the bells with him... sigh...

our Sunday School choir not that bad. we didn't screw it up. i think.

but it was totally cool...

got a box of chocolates for answering a question. pistachios... i don't like nuts... need to share...

then next day... had our Christmas party...

felt even more love there... and i volunteered to help put together a group...

sad that i had to include boys in it... Edmund asked me not to pick his brother... so i didn't...

but i regret not picking Yin Ting... sigh... but i picked her sis...

but i think my group turned out to be quite cooperative.

expected Zhan Hong and Jacqueline to quarrel non-stop...

but they didn't... =)

praise the Lord...

and guess what...

we won =)

i expected Elijah's group to win... but they didn't...

and there was too many chocolate...

so i ended up giving away the extras... my group members... don't kill me...

i even gave away some of mine...

and i'm so guilty...

didn't prepare presents for Sunday School...

but they gave me a lot...

i've got the best friends i could ever ask for...

and i completely disregarded them...

i hate myself...

and i couldn't help my friends from school...

i hate myself even more...

i think my depression's coming again...

maybe that's why my temperature's so high...

38.1. can you believe it?

Lord bless them all...

i think i'm gonna cry...

oh... there was that party...

was banker for the Monopoly game...

and was bullied to no end...

but they're all very nice...

sigh...

on that depressing note... i bid thee farewell...

later, toony

hey all... blogging about my Beijing trip... not much to write... and i drank my first Starbucks drink... haha... hot chocolate... and made friends... weird friends... who think my sis and i are weird...

okay... on the first day... we got on the plane at 8 something... supposed to get off at 2 something... because of turbulent weather... got off at 3... sigh... and it was freezing... then had to look for the other family... cos' we were on a tour... there was another family on that plane... found them in Starbucks... haha...

anyways... we had to walk a long, long, long distance to the bus... cos' the stupid bus uncle parked it so far away... and it was freezing. like, hello? it was below zero degrees, okay?

well anyways... we then went to the restaurant... a couple was there already... talked... introductions... ate... food not bad lah... but it was the same thing for the rest of our trip... missed Singapore food... felt kinda crappy... cos' i was missing church... and all my churchmates... then we went to the hotel...

woke up early the next day... ultra crappy the whole of Sunday... cos' i wanted to be in church... with that family... not at the Forbidden City where everything was being repaired... for the Olympics... sigh... drank my hot chocolate there... froze to death... hands got numb... stuff like that... didn't feel like taking pictures... cos' i didn't want to smile...

then we went to he shen's garden... was gigantic, i tell you... froze some more... walk and walk and walk... and i forgot what we did next...

then on the third day... we went to the Great Wall of China... climbed up the wall... counted the steps... lost count at three hundred... that was less than half of the steps... sigh sigh...

then we went to the grave of the emperors... quite a big place... saw the skeleton of the emperor... in a picture... not up close... thank goodness... then... one of the few parts of the trip i enjoyed... we went skiing... was much faster than my sis... zoomed right down... super cool... and super cold... my first encounter with snow... yay... then we went for our dinner... then went back to the hotel...

then... we went to Happy Valley on the fourth day... forgot what we did in the morning... the first ride was super cool, i tell you... was at the front with my sis and Marcus... Janice was too short... cannot ride... my fellow tourmates... then... after we were strapped in... they lifted up the seats... so we were facing the ground... scary i tell you... then our ride began... first we went up... and we were staring down... scary... then as we were about to go down... i was like," oh my gosh." and Marcus asked if i was having second thoughts... and i said yeah... then we went D
O
W
N

and we went upside down... and looped around... felt as if i was going to bang into something... but i didn't... super cool... but the ride was fast... and very short... and soon it was over... and we couldn't go again... sigh...

anyways... there was this ride where we went upside-down... and turned around... and a mini roller coaster... fun... and that's it... my tour guide (Yuki!) went for the first ride i took... gave her a heart attack... super cool... my sis got freaked out by the ride... haha... then we went to eat our dinner... then went shopping... where we lost our dad... sigh... found him in the end lah... so no need to worry... then we went back to the hotel...

then next day... went to the medical hall... and the pearl factory! they killed an oyster right there and then... poor oyster... 24 pearls in it... Marcus picked the oyster... and we each got one... the person who picked it got the biggest... lucky him... and my sis and i got a free pearl ring... talked and played with Janice and Marcus... laughed... and just mingled... good... ended up buying the pearl powder and the pearl cream... Ci Xi emperess looked younger than my mum when she was 71... she consumed lots of pearl powder...

we watched the acrobatic show... and shopped... got an i-pod nano (fake lah! that place sells fakes) for $28... it doesn't work... giving it to my dad... got winter clothes... and an addidas track suit... we should have went down... then could buy bags and shoes... sigh...

then... went to ask for e-mail addresses... and Janice's parents chased she and Marcus down to play with us while they had their massage... Marcus wanted to stay outside at first... but then... the security guard asked if he was locked out... and he said he wasn't... then couldn't stand it... and came in... haha... then talked... and talked... and laughed... then my sis said something... made me start hating myself... sigh... anyways... was unsuccessful for my third language... think i'll apply for German... hmm...

then went home the next day... thank goodness... i think i'll die if i have to continue staying in Beijing... but now i'm super insecure... and i hate myself... honestly... sigh...

Jacqueline got posted to SC... but she doesn't want to stay there... wonder why...i love SC...

okay... i'm tired and i feel crappy and my grandparents are coming tomorrow.

think i better get some sleep.

later, toony

okay... my first shot at photos... wish me luck...

went for church camp on Monday... hoping to be happy... and to escape from my prison cell... and to have a better relationship with God... and to strengthen my faith... maybe i just wanted to be in church again... i don't really know... but what i came back with... apart from all the prizes and presents... is something people spend their lives trying to find... forever love...

on the first day... got to church at 8.15... supposed to get there at 9... weird... found out that i was in... drumroll... MILO!!!! THREE CHEERS, AND THREE CHEERS, AND THREE CHEERS FOR MILO! HIP HIP, HOORAY! HIP HIP, HOORAY! HIP HIP, HOORAY!

haha... wasn't very keen to be in that group at first... but better than being in ribena... with that Brendan... glad i wasn't in that group... maybe i would have liked being in horlicks... but now i know... I LOVE BEING IN MILO! our group leader rocks... super lame person... i taught Maye that if someone said, "I'm hungry" then she should say," Hi Hungry, my name is Maye, nice to meet you." then Cailing said," li wei, ni de xiao hua hen leng." then my MILO GROUP LEADER, THE SUPER NICE PERSON, said," leng good what. can save energy." and i was sitting there laughing my head off... and Cailing was stunned for a few moments... then her expression was something like -_-"... yeah... funny people...

that was on the second day... on the first day... we had our ice breakers... and we learnt our theme song... FOREVER LOVE!!! super nice song... touching... really touching... then we went down to play... captain's ball... with a netball and a tennis ball... then they're mean... say that if a girl managed to score... would get double points... netball gets one point... tennis ball gets five... first was horlicks against ribena... ribena won i think... yeah... then milo played against ribena... and milo won! i can't remember the details... but i didn't do much... i think... cos' that Elijah arh... go play defender... super tall person... i cannot score... i'm not even 1.6 lah... he's like... almost 1.8... i think...

anyway... we played against horlicks next... I HELPED MILO WIN!!! soooo happy... managed to score with the tennis ball twice... 20 points... haha... give us girls double, right? see... but i think i over-exerted myself... cos' now my legs hurt... a lot... but never mind! i'll live!

and then... after that... played foosball... i volunteered to play goal keeper... managed to keep ribena from scoring... yay... happy... and we got our angel and mortal... it's like... everyone knows who my angel is except for me... sad right? anyways... my angel passed me something but i didn't even know who my angel is... SAD!!!

had our dinner... then we went for our sub-theme talk... our JESUS cheer! nice skit... then our art and craft... then our supper... then we went to wash up... and went to sleep... couldn't get to sleep... girls were talking a lot... so i went out for a walk... the boys really were asleep... good for them... but i was really thinking... my faith wasn't strengthened... i still had doubts... maybe that's why i couldn't sleep...

second day... had our workout... then our devotion... and our breakfast... and our theme talk... again... and our lunch... another worship... and then... our GAMES!!! haha... had water bombs... got wet... got other people wet... haha... fun... and charades... and that flour thing... and the balloons... and the ping pong balls... fun... and then we had another game... for the whole camp... had to take a spoonful of water... walk across four chairs... eat a whole slice of lemon... pick up a ping pong ball on a spoon... walk backwards... deposit our water in a cup... then run back... our group lost... but never mind! it was fun...

after that... we had our shower and prepared our skit... and then our dinner... and then our special... our skits... our worship... and our prize presentation... our skit arh... i really don't know why... but everyone was laughing... we didn't prepare it to be funny... but everyone was laughing! anyway... our advertisement arh... goes like this... "at first, the earth was bare and tasteless. and God said,' let there be salt!' " then... "salt shakers, trying to save the world, and they come just in time, the salt of the world." it's for our salt shaker service... and everyone was laughing... then at the end... Yan Jie said," that's all folks!" his voice screeched... not intentional... but because of that... he won best comedian... hahaha...

and Clement the irritating boy (haha) won best supporting male... and I won best supporting female... and Rixin won best main female... thing... who won male arh? can't remember... i think it's Zhu En... think... but MILO got the BEST GROUP AWARD!!! GO MILO!!!

then we hadour supper... laughed even more... then went to bed... fell asleep at 11.45...

then at 1 a.m.... the warriors woke us up... and Mrs. Liew said that kids had trashed our church... and we had to find them... but it was really just a scavenger hunt... and we found what people spend their whole lives trying to find... forever love... so touching... then couldn't get back to sleep...

woke up at 7 the next day... hung outside the room staring into space... kinda settled into my depressed mode... then i went to play the piano... played some of our sunday school worship songs... not that hard... then had our workout... and our devotion... and our breakfast... then we had our worship...

turns out that my angel is Risheng... but Risheng went to Japan... what will he say when he finds out that that's the chocolate bar he gave me for my birthday? haha... I LOVE YOU RISHENG!!!! trying to yell all the way to Japan... but i doubt he'll hear me... I LOVE ALL MY FELLOW CAMPERS AND THE WARRIORS AND EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET!!! *hugs fellow campers*

sang our theme song again... finally, finally, finally felt God's presence among us... and i was so touched... really very touched... actually cried... but i ran away so that no one would see me crying... but they saw it anyway... i love Xin Min lao shi... came to comfort me... then took our picture... milo had one extra member... she sneaked in lah... TERRI!!! she was in the picture as well... then took our camp photo...

oh yeah... i got the prize for potential growth... Maye got most well-behaved... Jacqueline got most initiated... right? yeah... i think so... Zhu En got best thinker... Yan Jie got best improvement... Clement got best camper... i think i missed out something... sorry to that person... Milo got dark horse award... cos' at first we didn't look like too good a group... but we proved them all wrong :) then Ribena got... aiyah... forgot... sorry... and Horlicks won the games... good for them...

FOREVER LOVE! GOD WILL LOVE EVERYONE FOREVER!

later, toony

she treats me like an animal. as if i don't have any dignity.

she tramples all over me.

yet i never stop her.

and then she acts like she's a nice little girl.

and all i can do is scoff.

she's the older one. does that give her authority?

i hate having an older sister.

she should be starting to treat me nicer now.

yet i still see no improvement.

when will she ever stop making me cry?

when will i ever stop crying because of her?

why do i allow her to do this?

i think i'm scared of her.

she's nothing more than a big bully.

she's nice to everyone except for me.

such a hypocrite.

i wonder if she hates me...

sometimes i think she does.

sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. i wish it was true.

i couldn't stand it when Jessica said that she was nice.

and i can't talk to Ryan cos' of her. he was the first person i could ever talk to.

but she was selfish and took that blessing away.

but i'm glad i met Ryan.

i wish she would go away.

this sixteen-year-old terror of my life.

well... last night... my sis had a class bbq... and she said that she said to her classmates that she would be offering the room, the barbeque pit and "my sister"... haha...

well anyways... here's just a little plan i drew up, kay?

9.30 i finally woke up and dragged myself to the living room and watched TV with my sis.

9.45 had my breakfast.

10-1.30 used the computer (wah, use for 3 hours and 30 minutes... record! haha... was writing stories)

1.30 my sis went to Toa Payoh to meet up with her friend and get supplies. i went to play piano.

1.45 stopped playing the piano and went to bake cookies. added too much water and added cocoa powder and sugar. still to watery, so ended up making mini muffins with plenty of chocolate.

2.15 sis and her friend (Bi Zhi) came back with the supplies and went to marinate the chicken. i was still putting the mixture (was supposed to be dough, but it was more like watery syrup) into the muffin thingys and some on the pie dish.

2.30 Lianha(spl?) came and helped Bi Zhi get the pepper. ended up taking the whole cover off and added a tad too little pepper. then added more and Bi Zhi said it was too much. had to scoop the pepper off with a spoon... funny people...

3.00 my muffin-cookies were finally ready. Elizabeth and the clique she's in arrives and completely pissed my sis off.

3.15 Elizabeth's clique goes down to the Function room while my sis's clique stays in her room. (not supposed to, but i have to say, there were two very close girls there. if you catch my drift...)

3.30 Celeste gets there. have to go down to get her, but she had already gotten in. could hear my sis scream on the 3rd floor from the first. -_-"

3.35 my sis's stuffed toys and terri gets thrown around by this funny girl called Judy. they all say that my sis and i sound and look alike. apparently, we are 'the same'. like, NO WE ARE NOT!!!

4.00 we go down and play marco polo for a while as it was raining outside. funny game... run from one end to the other end. then we sat down and just talked. starting to feel a bit left out and my darling sis was annoying me. moreover, i was scared of making my sis angry, so i just stayed out of the way.

5.00 rain stops and we TRY to get the fire started. Elizabeth's clique TRIES to get the fire started with ALL our kitchen towels and newspapers. okay...

-2 hours later-

Elizabeth's clique has left and we got the help of a nice caucasian. he said," Does anyone here know how to start a fire?" -silence- "I didn't think so." haha... oh, BTW, we were using CHARCOAL. SOOOO happy too see the charcoal trun white. i helped to burn charcoal Fann! haha... can you imagine? TWO hours to start a fire, when my sis normally uses 10 MINUTES. ultra dumb...

we FINALLY start barbequing. i just stood at a side and watched. after that, i went to the table with the food and just ate and got scolded... haha... anyways, i didn't eat much, cos' i was full... had lunch at 3... wanted to sit in the air-con room but was chased out... nice people... thought i was left out... truthfully, i was... but not so much anymore...

9.15 started barbequing marshmallows... you know, melted marshmallows are actually quite delicious... it's all so sticky and sweet and soooo nice...

after that... this girl called Melissa barbequed the marsmallows... put it in between two pieces of OVALTINE biscuits and put a TINY piece of chocolate in the little sandwich. guess what she just made. SMORES! that's the name right?

anyway... i finally got amused enough to laugh... then they stared at me... so weird...

then we went inside and guess what. we played... *drumroll* MUSICAL CHAIRS! and you know what? i was the first one out! and the 2 finalists were snatching the chair away from each other. haha...

and it was Melissa's birthday! someone made a cake for her... i wanna try it... but couldn't...

then... at 10... we all had to leave... cleared up the best we could... and then... they all went back... Terri waved goodbye... and i think they were amused...

heh... we should do something like that... missed church barbeque cos' mum won't let me... sad...

we'll do it again someday, right? and i won't be so left out next time...

later, toony