hey peeps... i am totally and utterly bored... i have had so much time to reflect over the past 4 days... and... i must say... i've never been more alone than now... sigh...
kinda depressed... even though i shouldn't be.. maybe having two months of holidays isn't good... my primary school life is coming to an end... i really don't want it to... 12 years... wow... that's a really long time... specially when each day seems like an eternity... really want to appreciate this last 2 weeks... 5 days... how can school be over when i'm finally enjoying it? just doesn't seem fair...
it's gone... it won't come back... i'll miss SC... not so much of the people in it... but i'll miss SC... national day... childrens' day... teachers' day... new year... i was the MC for this year's new year celebrations... thrilling... nerve-racking... but fun... but i spent the whole of this year waiting for weekends...
this year has been draining... friendships made... lost... teasing... getting terrorised... somehow... i wish i had cried in school... would have been so much better... much better than crying to myself... might make them understand... just how complex i am... school's like... a place for me... to get the isolation that i need...
i was just watching Princess Hours... can't believe it... i cried for her... the poor Crown Princess... i really cried... that stupid Crown Prince... must he hurt her so badly? it's not fair for her... the poor girl's sick... and that cousin... came at the wrong time... but he didn't carry her back to the palace, did he? no. the Crown Prince did... so who gave him the right to walk into her room like that? stupid idiot...
oh gosh... the show really made me cry... man... i really wanted to cry for me... but... seems like... i don't treat myself as a human anymore... that just sucks... and... it's something only God can heal... maybe... i just want to be left alone... maybe... i don't... i don't even know myself anymore...
look... sorry people... i'm not like alyssa ee... i can't look on the funny side of things... and school's ending... gonna be an alien in secondary school... never imagined myself in secondary school... don't know if i'll be able to fit in...
last few days in primary school... after that... primary school will be over... over... my status as a primary 6er... i'll be in sec 1 soon... gonna be so different...
life's hard... and i want to stop... but time's sweeping me away... really just want to stay still... but i can't...
i'm kind of a depressing person... can't make myself feel better... specially after watching Princess Hours... really so nice...
well... going back to school tomorrow...
goodbye SC primary!
later, toony
Panda loves !
3:22 PM
PROFILE
Child of God
SHE'S a real person, but she shall just be known as toonyweeny here(:
she loves Sophie(her B flat clarinet) and Sophia(the alto clarinet).
she loves Percy(her piano) just as much too(:
she really hopes you remember May 16 as it is an important day to her.
she loves SC and SC Band, and really hopes that things will go back to normal.
she's still waiting and hoping, but don't treat her like a fool(:
she is really really sincere, having been in it for four years.
lastly, she really hopes you have a nice time here :D
33/25/3001
SOUNDS
SITE RULES
RULES PLACED HERE .
- be nice(:
- please don't flame pandas here(:
- or clarinets
- or pianos.
- leave a tag!
- smile! Jesus loves you!:D
WHAT I WANT
WISHLIST
- music stand
- my own clarinet
- Skin Food nail polish! :D
- nice blank notebooks
- albums of band songs
- Whenever You Remember, You Raise Me Up and nice piano scores
- Christian literature
- ice-cream maker
- Topshop stuff!
- panda stuff
- WORLD PEACE!
RESOLUTIONS
- focus on GOD
- be a better daughter
- be more motivated to do stuff
- study hard!
- practise my piano and my clarinet much much more
- do well for grade 7 practical and theory
- get straight A1s
- give my parents more than enough reason to let me go back to church
- get my own clarinet
- be a better person
