i really... really... don't want anyone worrying about me... so don't... really... don't... i'm not sad... not really... i just died... can't be helped... don't worry... i just need to be revived... but... i can't find the person to do that... Father... please... revive me... give me the will to live...
i'm so lost now... please help me find the way again... please... give me a sign... before i die completely... i don't want to have lived a long life and not have done anything productive... it's to see a smile on someone else's face... a frown i helped turn upside down... even if i can't believe in happiness... i want someone else to feel... to avoid the pain i had to go through... i can't be happy unless i know that someone else is...
i'm living on borrowed time... merely a short time before i go crazy... and i'm still young...
i guess... i care too much for others... too much... i can't help but feel the sadness cailing keeps inside her... it's like... i expect the whole entire world to be happy... maybe then... i'll feel happy...
dear reader, you must be thinking that i'm crazy... not really... this is the person God created... this confused... lost... little girl... in this world of unfeeling machines... unfeeling humans walk up and down the streets... and then... i need that little spark... that spark to light up this cold world of mine... it's so grey...
i'm still exploring this world... this world of mine... cold... dark... can't believe that i once believed that this world is warm... someone... please change that...
humans are so destructive... they destroyed the wonderful world that God created for us... they turned the planet into a... a rock... so empty... so void of God's love... the love Adam and Eve could have... we all still have it... my mistake... please give me a sign... a really meaningful message... like the one small foot sent me... that was really good... it really cheered me up...
now... i'm listening to this song for the 5th time... give me one reason by zoegirl... from cailing's blog... it's so meaningful...i really need something like this...
i have to get back to my work now... sorry for all the conflicting things i typed... pardon me...
don't worry about me... i doubt that i deserve it... it makes conversations difficult... so sorry... i don't cry anymore... to me, that's even worse... don't worry... knowing that someone worries about me makes me worry too... that's me for you... such a very odd girl...
later,toony
Panda loves !
9:45 PM
PROFILE
Child of God
SHE'S a real person, but she shall just be known as toonyweeny here(:
she loves Sophie(her B flat clarinet) and Sophia(the alto clarinet).
she loves Percy(her piano) just as much too(:
she really hopes you remember May 16 as it is an important day to her.
she loves SC and SC Band, and really hopes that things will go back to normal.
she's still waiting and hoping, but don't treat her like a fool(:
she is really really sincere, having been in it for four years.
lastly, she really hopes you have a nice time here :D
33/25/3001
SOUNDS
SITE RULES
RULES PLACED HERE .
- be nice(:
- please don't flame pandas here(:
- or clarinets
- or pianos.
- leave a tag!
- smile! Jesus loves you!:D
WHAT I WANT
WISHLIST
- music stand
- my own clarinet
- Skin Food nail polish! :D
- nice blank notebooks
- albums of band songs
- Whenever You Remember, You Raise Me Up and nice piano scores
- Christian literature
- ice-cream maker
- Topshop stuff!
- panda stuff
- WORLD PEACE!
RESOLUTIONS
- focus on GOD
- be a better daughter
- be more motivated to do stuff
- study hard!
- practise my piano and my clarinet much much more
- do well for grade 7 practical and theory
- get straight A1s
- give my parents more than enough reason to let me go back to church
- get my own clarinet
- be a better person
